The Gospel

Article by John Piper

What Is the Gospel?

What is the gospel? I’ll put it in a sentence.

The gospel is the news that Jesus Christ, the Righteous One, died for our sins and rose again, eternally triumphant over all his enemies, so that there is now no condemnation for those who believe, but only everlasting joy.

That’s the gospel.

You Can’t Outgrow the Gospel

You never, never, never outgrow your need for the gospel. Don’t ever think of the gospel as, “That’s the way you get saved, and then you get strong by leaving it and doing something else.”

No! We are strengthened by God through the gospel every day, till the day we drop.

You never outgrow the need to preach to yourself the gospel.

How the Gospel Strengthens

Here’s an illustration, and I use it not because it’s any big deal to speak from my life, but because it’s what I walked through and where I most pointedly in the last year experienced the power of the gospel to make me strong. (Many of you are walking through things much heavier than prostate cancer — muchheavier.)

Do you remember the verses that I shared with you back in February that were almighty for me? It was that moment right after the doctor said, “I think we need to do a biopsy” — when this stab of fear comes. It didn’t last long, mercifully.

And then came — what? First Thessalonians 5:9–10. It’s just as pure gospel as you can get.

God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him.

Settled. Peace like a river.

The Gospel Is Perfect for Your Needs

That’s just gospel — perfectly timed, perfectly applied, perfectly suited to my need. That’s why the Bible is so thick: because there are so many different needs that you have. And there are suitable places where the gospel is unfolded for you, so that if you immerse yourself in the whole book, always with an eye for what Christ has wrought for you and purchased for you in this thick, glorious history of God’s interaction with people, he will give you what you need.

Therefore, everything in me says — and I hope to say it until the day I die — “Now, to him who is able to strengthen me, according to Paul’s gospel, to him — to that God — be glory forever and ever” (see Romans 16:25–27).

God came into history in Jesus Christ. He died in order to destroy the power of hell and death and Satan and sin, and he did it through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

A Plea to Believe

I know that there are people reading this who are not trusting Jesus Christ, and therefore can only expect condemnation. So I’m just going to plead with you here at the end: Lay down that rebellion. Lay it down. And simply embrace the gospel that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Righteous One, died for your sins. He was raised on the third day, triumphant over all his enemies. He reigns until he puts all of his enemies under his feet. Forgiveness of sins and a right standing with God come freely through him alone, by faith alone.

I plead with you: Don’t try to be strong in your own strength. It will not be there when you need it. Only one strength will be there: the strength that God gives according to the gospel.

Don’t put it off.

Plunge Your Mind into the Ocean of God’s Sovereignty

Article by John Piper

Sometimes we need to plunge our minds into the ocean of God’s sovereignty. We need to feel the weight of it, like deep and heavy water pressing in against every pore, the deeper we go. A billion rivers of providence pour into this ocean. And God himself gathers up all his countless deeds — from eternity to eternity — and pours them into the currents of his infallible revelation. He speaks, and explains, and promises, and makes his awesome, sovereign providence the place we feel most reverent, most secure, most free.

Sometimes we need to be reminded by God himself that there are no limits to his rule. We need to hear from him that he is sovereign over the whole world, and everything that happens in it. We need his own reminder that he is never helpless, never frustrated, never at a loss. We need his assurance that he reigns over ISIS, terrorism, Syria, Russia, China, India, Nigeria, France, Myanmar, Saudi Arabia, and the United States of America — every nation, every people, every language, every tribe, every chief, president, king, premier, prime minister, politician, great or small.

Sometimes we need to hear specific statements from God himself about his own authority. We need God’s own words. It is the very words of God that have unusual power to settle our nerves, and make us stable, wise, and courageous.

On the one hand hearing the voice of God is like a frightened child who hears the voice downstairs, and realizes that daddy’s home. Whatever those other sounds were, it’s okay. Daddy’s home.

On the other hand it feels like the seasoned troops, dug in at the front line of battle, and about to be overrun by the enemy. But then they get word that a thousand impenetrable tanks are rushing to their aid. They are only one mile away. You will be saved and the enemy will not stand.

Vague generalizations about the power of God do not have the same effect as the very voice of God telling us specifically how strong he is, how pervasive his power, how universal his authority, how unlimited his sovereignty. And that our times are in his hands.

So let’s listen. Let’s treat the Bible as the voice of God. Let’s turn what the Bible says about God into what God says about God — which is what the Bible really is — God speaking about God.

And as we listen, let us praise him. There is no other fitting way to listen to God’s exaltation of God. This is what happens to the human soul when we plunge into the ocean of God’s sovereignty.

We praise you, O God, that all authority in the universe belongs to you.

“There is no authority except from me, and those that exist have been instituted by me.” (Romans 13:1)

“You, Pilate, would have no authority over my Son at all unless it had been given you from me.” (John 19:11)

We stand in awe, O God, that in your freedom you do all that you please and all that you plan.

“Whatever I please, I do, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps.” (Psalm 135:6)

“I work all things according to the counsel of my will.” (Ephesians 1:11)

“I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose.’” (Isaiah 46:9–10)

We marvel, O God, that you share this total authority and rule completely with your Son.

“I have given all authority in heaven and on earth to my Son, Jesus.” (Matthew 28:18)

“I love my Son and have given all things into his hand.” (John 3:35)

“I have given my Son authority over all flesh.” (John 17:2)

“I have put all things in subjection under my Son’s feet — all things except myself.” (1 Corinthians 15:27)

“I raised my Son from the dead and seated him at my right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion. . . . I put all things under his feet.” (Ephesians 1:20–22)

“I welcomed my Son into heaven. He is at my right hand, with angels, authorities, and powers subject to him.” (1 Peter 3:22)

We submit with reverence to you, O God, because, through your Son, you remove and install the rulers of the world.

“Wisdom and might belong to me. I change times and seasons; I remove kings and set up kings.” (Daniel 2:20–21)

“I loose the bonds of kings and bind a waistcloth on their hips.” (Job 12:18)

“I sent my angel and struck Herod down, because he did not give me glory, and he was eaten by worms and breathed his last.” (Acts 12:23)

Indeed, O God, you not only raise rulers and put them down; you govern all their deeds in every age.

“The king’s heart is a stream of water in my hand, says the LORD; I turn it wherever I will.” (Proverbs 21:1)

“I will put an end to the wealth of Egypt, by the hand of Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon. . . . I will break the yoke of Egypt, and her proud might shall come to an end. . . . I will strengthen the arms of the king of Babylon and put my sword in his hand, but I will break the arms of Pharaoh.” (Ezekiel 30:10, 18, 24)

“I have given all these lands into the hand of Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon, my servant, and I have given him also the beasts of the field to serve him. All the nations shall serve him and his son and his grandson, until the time of his own land comes. Then many nations and great kings shall make him their slave.” (Jeremiah 27:6–7)

“As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand. I will break the Assyrian in my land; and his yoke shall depart from my people.” (Isaiah 14:24–25)

“I will make the nations the inheritance of my Son, and the ends of the earth will be his possession. He shall break them with a rod of iron.” (Psalm 2:8–9)

We acknowledge with wonder, O God, that no plan of man succeeds but those which you, in unfathomable wisdom, permit.

“I bring the counsel of the nations to nothing; I frustrate the plans of the peoples.” (Psalm 33:10)

“No wisdom, no understanding, no counsel can avail against me.” (Proverbs 21:30)

And how mighty and wise you are, O God, that no man, no nation, force of nature can thwart your holy plans.

“No purpose of mine can be thwarted.” (Job 42:2)

“I do according to my will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay my hand or say to me, ‘What have you done?’” (Daniel 4:35)

“There is none who can deliver from my hand; I work, and who can turn it back?” (Isaiah 43:13)

So, we bow, as dust in the scales, O God, and confess with joy, that we are as nothing compared to your greatness.

“Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket, and are accounted as the dust on the scales. . . . All the nations are as nothing before me, they are accounted as less than nothing and emptiness.” (Isaiah 40:15, 17)

“I sit above the circle of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers. I stretch out the heavens like a curtain, and spread them like a tent to dwell in. I bring princes to nothing, and make the rulers of the earth as emptiness.” (Isaiah 40:22–23)

The joy of our hope, O God, is that you magnify your greatness by lifting up the low, and putting down the proud.

“Who but me can say to a king, ‘Worthless one,’ and to nobles, ‘Wicked man’? I show no partiality to princes, nor regard the rich more than the poor, for they are all the work of my hands.” (Job 34:18–19)

“I shatter the mighty without investigation and set others in their place.” (Job 34:24)

“I look on everyone who is proud and bring him low and tread down the wicked where they stand.” (Job 40:12)

“I the LORD kill and bring to life; I bring down to Sheol and raise up. I make poor and make rich; I bring low and I exalt.” (1 Samuel 2:6–7)

“I have scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; I have brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate.” (Luke 1:51–52)

And so it will be forever, O God. You rule over all, with an everlasting rule, for the sake of the lowly who trust your Son.

“I live forever, for my dominion is an everlasting dominion, and my kingdom endures from generation to generation.” (Daniel 4:34)

“My dominion shall not pass away, and my kingdom shall not be destroyed.” (Daniel 7:14)

“My Son will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” (Luke 1:33)

Therefore, overflowing with praise and thanks, O precious and holy God, we rest in your absolute sovereignty over our lives. And rejoice to hear you say,

“Your times are in my hand.” (Psalm 31:15)

Will God Give Me More Than I Can Handle?

Interview with John Piper

It’s Monday. A new week. New tasks. New burdens. New mercies. And podcast listener Fabian writes in to ask, “Dear Pastor John, this phrase — ‘God will never give us more than what we can handle’ — is often used when someone is facing life challenges, sufferings, and trials. Based on the Bible, is this phrase biblically correct?”

Whether that statement — “God will never give us more than we can handle” — is biblically correct depends on what we mean by “we” and “handle.”

“If I survive any test or accomplish any work when I am tested, it is decisively grace, not decisively me.”

What does “we” mean? Does “we” mean God takes into account our independent possibilities based on our track record of handling trouble and, thus, measures out that trouble to us so that it doesn’t go beyond what “we” independently by our own resources can handle? Is that what “we” means?

Or, does “we” mean that we can handle it if we receive it by faith in divine assistance and that God knows what he himself will give us by grace in enabling us to handle what he gives us — so he is not thinking of “we” as independent, but “we” as dependent on the grace that comes with the difficulty? Which of those two does this statement ask about?

And “handle.” What does “handle” mean? Does “handle” mean you never collapse under it? Does it mean you never fail in any task? Does it mean you never mess up? Does it mean you never fail to get a B+ on every one of life’s tests? Or does “handle” mean you never fail so that you never recover or repent or restore reconciliation and that you are finally lost because you failed? Which does “handle” mean?

So, to answer all of that and give my answer to the question, let’s just look at the key texts that I think he probably has in mind. First Corinthians 10:13, “no temptation” — or “test” since it is the same word in Greek — “no test has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted [tested] beyond your ability” — or beyond what you are able — “but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

When Paul says he won’t give what is beyond what you are able, he means, not beyond what you are able with God’s help. We know that because of a couple of other things he says. For example, in 2 Corinthians 9:8 he says, “God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” In other words, in every test or temptation, the question is, “Will I do what I ought to do?” And Paul says, “There will be grace,” not just, “I am depending on you to use your resources without depending on grace.” “I am giving you grace so there will be grace to do it. But you are not independent of my powers to help.”

And he said in 1 Corinthians 15:10, “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.” In other words, if I survive any test or accomplish any work when I am tested, it is grace, decisively grace, not decisively me.

So, my answer to the first query, “What does ‘we’ mean in this statement: ‘God will never give us more than “we” can handle’?” is that “we” means we who are helped by sovereign grace, not we independent of the power of God’s help.

And then the question is, “What does ‘handle’ mean? Never stumble? Never fail? Never get a C- or an F on a particular test that God gives?” And my answer is, “No, it doesn’t mean that.” If we had perfect reliance on all that he is for us in Christ, we would pass every test glowingly. But God does not promise that kind of perfect reliance on his omnipotent grace.

Well then, what is being promised when he says that we will always have with every test an escape and when he says that we will have grace for every good work? And I think what is promised is ultimately this: He will never let us so stumble or so fail that we don’t recover and repent and are restored. In other words, he will never let us sin our way into apostasy and damnation. He will enable us to bear the fruits of genuine faith and perseverance to the end.

“God will never give his people trials in which he will not sustain them and bring them through to everlasting glory.”

And here are the texts that make me think that:

• Philippians 1:6, “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
• Romans 8:30, “Those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.” He is going to keep you.
• Luke 22:31–32, “Simon, Simon,” Jesus says to Peter, “behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat” — get your faith out of you. “But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” I prayed for you. Yes, you are going to deny me tonight, but I am bringing you back. You are going to get an F on this test tonight, and I am going to make you pass your life test.
• 1 Peter 1:5, “By God’s power [we] are being guarded through faith for a salvation.” God’s power is guarding me. He won’t let me fail in any test utterly.
• 1 Corinthians 1:8, “[He] will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

So, here’s my conclusion: God will never give us more than we can handle. Is that biblically correct? Yes, if we mean God will never give his people trials in which he will not sustain them and bring them through to everlasting glory. We will be enabled to do all we must do to get there.

The Renewed Mind and How to Have It

Article by John Piper

•  
• Scripture: Romans 12:1–2   

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:1–2)

As I have thought and prayed about these verses, it seems to me that there are two more very large issues we should deal with before moving on to verse 3. I would like to give a week to each of them.

“The Will of God”

One, which I hope to deal with next week, is the meaning of the term “the will of God.” Verse 2 says that we are to discern what is “the will of God.” It’s a very common phrase and I think that sometimes, when we use it, we may not know what we are talking about. That is not spiritually healthy. If you get into the habit of using religious language without knowing what you mean by it, you will increasingly become an empty shell. And many alien affections move into empty religious minds which have language but little or wrong content.

The term “the will of God” has at least two and possibly three biblical meanings. First, there is the sovereign will of God, that always comes to pass without fail. Second, there is the revealed will of God in the Bible — do not steal, do not lie, do not kill, do not covet — and this will of God often does notcome to pass. And third, there is the path of wisdom and spontaneous godliness — wisdom where we consciously apply the word of God with our renewed minds to complex moral circumstances, and spontaneous godliness where we live most of our lives without conscious reflection on the hundreds of things we say and do all day. Next week we need to sort this out and ask what Paul is referring to in Romans 12:2.

Transformation by the Renewal of Your Mind

“We are perfectly useless as Christians if all we do is conform to the world around us.”

But today I want to focus on the phrase in Romans 12:2, “by the renewal of your mind.” Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” We are perfectly useless as Christ-exalting Christians if all we do is conform to the world around us. And the key to not wasting our lives with this kind of success and prosperity, Paul says, is being transformed. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed.”

That word is used one time in all the gospels, namely, about Jesus on the mountain of transfiguration (the mountain of “transformation” — same word, metemorphōthē): “And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became white as light” (Matthew 17:2; Mark 9:2).

The Transformation Is Not Just External

I point this out for one reason: to make the point that the nonconformity to the world does not primarily mean the external avoidance of worldly behaviors. That’s included. But you can avoid all kinds of worldly behaviors and not be transformed. “His face shown like the sun, and his clothes became white as light!” Something like that happens to us spiritually and morally. Mentally, first on the inside, and then, later at the resurrection on the outside. So Jesus says of us, at the resurrection: “Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father” (Matthew 13:43).

Transformation is not switching from the to-do list of the flesh to the to-do list of the law. When Paul replaces the list — the works — of the flesh, he does not replace it with the works of the law, but the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:19–22).

The Christian alternative to immoral behaviors is not a new list of moral behaviors. It is the triumphant power and transformation of the Holy Spirit through faith in Jesus Christ — our Savior, our Lord, our Treasure. “[God] has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life” (2 Corinthians 3:6). So transformation is a profound, blood-bought, Spirit-wrought change from the inside out.

The Freedom of Being Enslaved to Christ

This is why the Christian life — though it is utterly submitted (Romans 8:7; 10:3), even enslaved (Romans 6:18, 22) to the revealed will of God — is described in the New Testament as radically free.

“When you are transformed in Christ you love to do what you ought to do.”

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1). You are free in Christ, because when you do from the inside what you love to do, you are free — if what you loveto do is what you ought to do. And that’s what transformation means: When you are transformed in Christ you love to do what you ought to do. That’s freedom.

An Essential Means of Transformation: The Renewal of Your Mind

And in Romans 12:2 Paul now focuses on one essential means of transformation — “the renewal of your mind.” “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” Oh, how crucial this is!

• If you long to break loose from conformity to the world,
• If you long to be transformed and new from the inside out,
• If you long to be free from mere duty-driven Christianity and do what you love to do because what you love to do is what you ought to do,
• If you long to offer up your body as a living sacrifice so that your whole life becomes a spiritual act of worship and displays the worth of Christ above the worth of the world,

then give yourself with all your might to pursuing this — the renewal of your mind. Because the Bible says, this is the key to transformation. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”

What’s wrong with the human mind? Why does our mind need renewing? And what does this renewal look like? And how can we pursue and enjoy this renewal?

The Problem with Our Minds

There are many who think that the only problem with the human mind is that it doesn’t have access to all the knowledge it needs. So education becomes the great instrument of redemption — personal and social. If people just got more education they would not use their minds to invent elaborate scams, and sophisticated terrorist plots, and complex schemes for embezzling, and fast-talking, mentally nimble radio rudeness. If people just got more education!

The Bible has a far more profound analysis of the problem. In Ephesians 4:23Paul uses a striking phrase to parallel Romans 12:2. He says, “Be renewed in the spirit of your minds.” Now what in the world is that? “The spirit of your mind.” It means at least this: the human mind is not a sophisticated computer managing data, which it then faithfully presents to the heart for appropriate emotional responses.

The mind has a “spirit.” In other words, our mind has what we call a “mindset.” It doesn’t just have a view, it has a viewpoint. It doesn’t just have the power to perceive and detect; it also has a posture, a demeanor, a bearing, an attitude, a bent. “Be renewed in the spirit of your mind.”

“The problem with our minds is not merely that we are finite, but that are fallen.”

The problem with our minds is not merely that we are finite, and don’t have all the information. The problem is that our minds are fallen. They have a spirit, a bent, a mindset that is hostile to the absolute supremacy of God. Our minds are bent on not seeing God as infinitely more worthy of praise than we are, or the things we make or achieve.

This is what we saw last week in Romans 1:28, “Since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind.” This is who we are by nature. We do not want to see God as worthy of knowing well and treasuring above all things. You know this is true about yourself because of how little effort you expend to know him, and because of how much effort it takes to make your mind spend any time getting to know God better.

The Bible says we have “exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man” (Romans 1:23). And the image in the mirror is the mortal image we worship most.

The Relationship Between Verses 1 and 2

That’s what’s wrong with our minds. This illumines the relationship between verses 1 and 2 of Romans 12. Verse 1 says that we should present our bodies — that is, our whole active life — as a living sacrifice which is our spiritual service of worship. So the aim of all life is worship. That is, we are to use our bodies — our whole lives — to display the worth of God and all that he is for us in Christ. Now it makes perfect sense when verse 2 says that, in order for that to happen, our minds must be renewed. Why? Because our minds are not by nature God-worshiping minds. They are by nature self-worshiping minds. That is the spirit of our minds.

Two Other Biblical Diagnoses of the Problem

Now before I turn to the remedy and how we find the renewal of mind God demands, consider two other biblical diagnoses of the problem. Consider the way Peter describes our mind-problem in 1 Peter 1:13–14, “Prepar[e]. . . your minds for action. . . . Do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance.” There is an ignorance of God — a willful suppression of the truth of God (Romans 1:18) — that makes us slaves to many passions and desires that would lose their power if we knew God as we ought (cf. 1 Thessalonians 4:5). “The passions of your former ignorance.” Paul calls these passions, “desires of deceit” (Ephesians 4:22).

They are life-ruining, worship-destroying desires, and they get their life and their power from the deceit of our minds. There is a kind of knowledge of God — a renewal of mind — that transforms us because it liberates us from the deceit and the power of alien passions.

The other biblical diagnosis is in Ephesians 4:17–18, “You must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart.”

Paul takes us deeper than Peter here. He penetrates beneath the “futile mind” and the “darkened understanding” and the willful “ignorance” and says that it is all rooted in “the hardness of their heart.” Here is the deepest disease, infecting everything else. Our mental suppression of liberating truth is rooted in our hardness of heart. Our hard hearts will not submit to the supremacy of Christ, and therefore our blind minds cannot see the supremacy of Christ (see John 7:17).

The Holy Spirit Renews the Mind

This brings us finally to the remedy and how we obey Romans 12:2, “Be transformed in the renewal of your mind.” First, before we can do anything, a double action of the Holy Spirit is required. And then we join him in these two actions. The reason I say the Holy Spirit is required is because this word “renewal” in Romans 12:2 is only used one other place in all the Greek Bible, namely, Titus 3:5 where Paul says this: “[God] saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit.”

There’s the word “renewal” which we’ve seen is so necessary. And it is renewal “of the Holy Spirit.” The Spirit renews the mind. It is first and decisively his work. We are radically dependent on him. Our efforts follow his initiatives and enablings.

The Double Work of the Holy Spirit

Now what is the double work that he must do to renew our minds so that all of life becomes worship? 2 Corinthians 3:18 sets the stage for the answer:

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

What does the Spirit do to “transform” us into the image of the God-exalting Son of God? He enables us to “behold the glory of the Lord.” This is how the mind is renewed — by steadfastly gazing at the glories of Christ for what they really are.

But to enable us to do that, the Spirit must do a double work. He must work in two directions: from the outside in and from the inside out. He must work from the outside in by exposing the mind to Christ-exalting truth. That is, he must lead us to hear the gospel, to read the Bible, to study Christ-exalting writings of great, spiritual men, and to meditate on the perfections of Christ.

This is exactly what our great enemy does not want us to do according to 2 Corinthians 4:4, “The god of this world [Satan] has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ.” Because to see that for what it really is, Paul says, will renew the mind and transform the life and produce unending worship.

“The Spirit renews the mind. It is first and decisively his work.”

And the Spirit must work from the inside out, breaking the hard heart that blinds and corrupts the mind. The Spirit must work from the outside in, through Christ-exalting truth, and from the inside out, through truth-embracing humility. If he only worked from the outside in, by presenting Christ-exalting truth to our minds but not breaking the hard heart and making it humble, then the truth would be despised and rejected. And if he only humbled the hard heart, but put no Christ-exalting truth before the mind, there would be no Christ to embrace and no worship would happen.

What Then Shall We Do?

What then do we do in obedience to Romans 12:2, “Be transformed in the renewal of your mind”? We join the Holy Spirit in his precious and all-important work. We pursue Christ-exalting truth and we pray for truth-embracing humility.

Listen to rich expositions of the “gospel of the glory of Christ.” Read your Bible from cover to cover always in search of the revelation of the glory of Christ. Read and ponder the Bible-saturated, Christ-exalting writings of great, spiritual men and women. And form the habit of meditating on the perfections of Christ. And in it all pray, pray, pray that the Holy Spirit will renew your mind, that you may desire and approve the will of God, so that all of life will become worship to the glory of Christ.

May the mind of Christ, my Savior,
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and power controlling
All I do and say.

May the Word of God dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
Only through His power.

May the peace of God my Father
Rule my life in everything,
That I may be calm to comfort
Sick and sorrowing.

May the love of Jesus fill me
As the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing,
This is victory.

May I run the race before me,
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
As I onward go.

May His beauty rest upon me,
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
Seeing only Him.

(Kate B. Wilkinson, “May the Mind of Christ, My Savior”)

Article originally delivered as a sermon and then posted here:https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/the-renewed-mind-and-how-to-have-it

36 Purposes of God in Our Suffering

by Paul Tautges

Joni Eareckson Tada has given us many books on the subject of God’s tender care for His children in times of suffering. Joni strikes the chord of authenticity with us so well because suffering is the world she lives in 24/7. My personal favorite is When God Weeps: Why Our Sufferings Matter to the Almighty, co-authored with Steve Estes, a pastor in Pennsylvania. The following list of God’s purposes in our suffering is from one of the appendices in that book.

Take some time to meditate on the wisdom of God as He works out His perfect will through our suffering. No wonder James, the brother of our Lord, commanded us to “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials” (James 1:2)!

1. Suffering is used to increase our awareness of the sustaining power of God to whom we owe our sustenance (Ps 68:19).
2. God uses suffering to refine, perfect, strengthen, and keep us from falling (Ps 66:8-9; Heb 2:10).
3. Suffering allows the life of Christ to be manifested in our mortal flesh (2 Cor 4:7-11).
4. Suffering bankrupts us, making us dependent upon God (2 Cor 12:9).
5. Suffering teaches us humility (2 Cor 12:7).
6. Suffering imparts the mind of Christ (Phil 2:1-11).
7. Suffering teaches us that God is more concerned about character than comfort (Rom 5:3-4; Heb 12:10-11).
8. Suffering teaches us that the greatest good of the Christian life is not absence of pain, but Christlikeness (2 Cor 4:8-10; Rom 8:28-29).
9. Suffering can be a chastisement from God for sin and rebellion (Ps 107:17).
10. Obedience and self-control are from suffering (Heb 5:8; Ps 119:67; Rom 5:1-5; James 1:2-8; Phil 3:10).
11. Voluntary suffering is one way to demonstrate the love of God (2 Cor 8:1-2, 9).
12. Suffering is part of the struggle against sin (Heb 12:4-13).
13. Suffering is part of the struggle against evil men (Ps 27:12; 37:14-15).
14. Suffering is part of the struggle for the kingdom of God (2 Thess 1:5).
15. Suffering is part of the struggle for the gospel (2 Tim 2:8-9).
16. Suffering is part of the struggle against injustice (1 Pet 2:19).
17. Suffering is part of the struggle for the name of Christ (Acts 5:41; 1 Pet 4:14).
18. Suffering indicates how the righteous become sharers in Christ’s suffering (2 Cor 1:5; 1 Pet 4:12-13).
19. Endurance of suffering is given as a cause for reward (2 Cor 4:17; 2 Tim 2:12).
20. Suffering forces community and the administration of the gifts for the common good (Phil 4:12-15).
21. Suffering binds Christians together into a common or joint purpose (Rev 1:9).
22. Suffering produces discernment, knowledge, and teaches us God’s statutes (Ps 119:66-67, 71).
23. Through suffering God is able to obtain our broken and contrite spirit which He desires (Ps 51:16-17).
24. Suffering causes us to discipline our minds by making us focus our hope on the grace to be revealed at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Pet 1:6, 13).
25. God uses suffering to humble us so He can exalt us at the proper time (1 Pet 5:6-7).
26. Suffering teaches us to number our days so we can present to God a heart of wisdom (Ps 90:7-12).
27. Suffering is sometimes necessary to win the lost (2 Tim 2:8-10; 4:5-6).
28. Suffering strengthens and allows us to comfort others who are weak (2 Cor 1:3-11).
29. Suffering is small compared to the surpassing value of knowing Christ (Phil 3:8).
30. God desires truth in our innermost being and one way He does it is through suffering (Ps 51:6; 119:17).
31. The equity for suffering will be found in the next life (Ps 58:10-11).
32. Suffering is always coupled with a greater source of grace (2 Tim 1:7-8; 4:16-18).
33. Suffering teaches us to give thanks in times of sorrow (1 Thess 5:17; 2 Cor 1:11).
34. Suffering increases faith (Jer 29:11).
35. Suffering allows God to manifest His care (Ps 56:8).
36. Suffering stretches our hope (Job 13:14-15).

Out of His deep love for us, God is more interested in making His children like Christ than He is in making us comfortable. The glory He receives from redeeming depraved sinners like us and remaking us into His image will be the song that fills the halls of heaven for all eternity (Rev 5:9-10). Since that will be the case in the future, let us pursue joy in the Lord here in the present.

[The above list makes a great personal Bible study or the basis for small group discussion.]

Top Security for the Anxious Heart

Article by Paul Tautges

Psalm 18 is an example of the emotional honesty of the Scriptures, which is something the church needs. Over the 32 years that I’ve been a believer, I’ve noticed a pattern among most Evangelicals; that is, that the only emotional expression that is perfectly acceptable for a “good Christian” is happiness. If we don’t portray ourselves as happy, happy, happy all the time then something must be wrong with us. Right?

Wrong. On the contrary, we find in the Scriptures, especially Psalms, every emotion that is part of the experience of serious believers. Psalm 18 is just one example. As David’s heart is gripped with fear, he prays to the Lord and exalts him as his “top security” (Alec Motyer’s translation). Here is Psalm 18:1-2,

I love you, Yahweh, my strength.

Yahweh, my crag [cliff, secure hiding place] and my fortress and my rescuer; my transcendent God, my rock in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my top security.

In the battle against anxiety, prayer is absolutely essential. Take note of verse 6: In the adversity I had I kept calling on Yahweh, and to my God I kept crying for help; from his temple he kept hearing my voice, and my cry before him for help kept coming into his ears.

Did you see the repetition of the word kept? Read the verse again. David’s battle against fear did not consist of zipping off a quick prayer to God once in a while, but it was a habit of his life. When anxious and under attack, David kept calling and kept crying for help; his cry kept coming before the ears of God. In response, God kept hearing. It was through the practice of prayer that God the Rock, fortress, and rescuer became—in David’s life experience—his top security.

Any battle plan for anxiety that does not keep constant prayer near the top of the list is inadequate and ultimately powerless against the fears that regularly rise up in our fleshly minds and hearts. Let us become people who truly pray without ceasing in order that the peace of God may secure our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus!

Article originally posted at: http://counselingoneanother.com/2018/05/01/top-security-for-the-anxious-heart/

The Art of Womanliness

Article by  Bonnie McKernan, Guest Contributor at Desiring God

What does it mean to be a woman?

Few things evoke such emotion as someone questioning, or attempting to define, what it means to be a woman — especially, in my case, a Christian woman. The overarching concept of womanhood trickles down into so many of our roles and relationships that it can easily become the currency by which we measure our worth. We vehemently resist anything that might threaten the foundation of womanliness as we’ve defined it for ourselves.

What Matters Today?

Lately, I’ve devoted significant attention to thinking about and studying the complexities of biblical womanhood, submission, and other gender controversies. One evening, I sat down and began furiously organizing my thoughts and observations into meaningful, impactful words and sentences meant to analyze and “solve” the issues. . . .

And then I stopped. I looked at my passionately penned words and hesitated. Not so much over the words themselves, but the why behind them.

How will grasping these profound theological ideas before I climb into bed impact who I am when I climb back out in the morning? Will my day look different? Will I be a different wife, or mother, or friend? My current struggles and sins would still be there to greet me with the sunrise. I’ve never wanted to be another vague and distant voice adding to the noise.

So, I put away my notes and went to bed wrestling with God. What do I need to know about womanhood right now? The next morning, as I woke up to the sun and its colors and God’s beautiful new mercies, I stepped out of bed with the question pressing on my soul, “How will I be an excellent woman and reflect God’s beauty today?”

Always-Pressing Question

How do I reflect God’s beauty today? This is the question that should be at the forefront of our minds, longing for an answer every hour. It’s what lies beneath all our labels and arguments and definitions — whether you’re a young wife or a grandmother, single or married, eight years old or eighty.

“God defines all women when he intentionally creates us to reflect unique facets of his beauty.”

It’s the question that mattered when I waved goodbye to the bus carrying my children off to public school, and it mattered when I sat for hours schooling them at home. It mattered when I was waitressing twelve-hour shifts, when I was in D.C. editing military plans to combat weapons of mass destruction, and when I was changing diapers and mediating temper tantrums as a stay-at-home mom.

Like a carefully chosen tattoo on the forearm, we imagine the perfectly defined self-identification will mark us so powerfully as to change how we are perceived in the world. We believe our ideologies or labels will magically make us more obedient, or better wives, or more compassionate toward the poor and oppressed, without ever living it out.

Too often, the vortex of discourse surrounding biblical womanhood blinds us to what it means to live excellently and reflect the beautiful image of God in this very moment, in the next thing we do, or type, or say.

Tell the Story of the Beautiful God

As women, our strengths, our beauty, our value, and the essence of who we are all come from our Creator — whose image we reflect — long before the gender debates of the twentieth century. My Maker defined me when he selectively impressed his fingerprints upon me as I was formed. He defines all women when he intentionally creates us to reflect unique facets of his beauty.

What does it mean to be an excellent woman today? It is to tell that story with strength and passion, to magnify the beauty of Christ and delight ourselves in the joy of God as we reflect him in our own unique ways.

Satan hates beauty because he hates the one it reflects. He does his best to destroy it and abuse it and oppress it and contort it into reflecting the broken world rather than God. If he can’t destroy it, he is content to see us spend our days fighting and writing about it. Satan is happy to see us discuss the beauty of womanhood all we want — so long as it distracts us from living it. There is a way to be so paralyzed by every new “how-to,” and so divided by debate that we will never get around to actually submitting our lives to God with a willingness to be led by him wherever it may take us.

Partial Picture of Infinite Art

We often work backward, focusing so much on presenting ourselves to the world as image-bearers of our chosen ideologies, forgetting whose image we were made to reflect. God’s glory needs to overflow into every single aspect of what we do as women — this is what it means to be conformed to the image of Christ.

But what does this look like?

Since the infinite God is the source of our beauty, we could never paint a complete picture of what an excellent and biblical woman looks like. Knowing the source of our beauty and excellence should give us purpose in the small things and humility in the big things. True beauty is not subjective — there are things which are not beautiful — but it is infinite, in that there are endless ways to truly reflect our Artist.

It’s letting go of what my fists are so tightly clenched onto when I’m fighting with my husband. It’s identifying the places my mind wanders when I’m angry or anxious. It’s seeking God’s kingdom at the expense of my own. It’s treating my body as a temple, but not an idol (1 Corinthians 6:19). It’s being greatly saddened by my sin, but joyful in God’s forgiveness of it. It’s putting aside the lesser things that make me occupied to hold or read to my child, and it’s letting someone else hold or read to that same child when God puts other duties before me.

It might be letting others lead when I feel the most equipped, or leading when I feel most unable, because God’s power is perfected in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). It might be keeping quiet when I feel like shouting, or loudly proclaiming when I feel too timid to even whisper. It might be serving others when I most want to be served; it might be resting when serving draws people to me rather than Christ.

It’s doing my work with excellence. It’s showing my womanhood and its beauty and its answers to be the fruit of God’s Spirit within me, rather than my focus.

Art of Womanliness

That’s biblical womanhood — the art of womanliness, if you will. It is actually living so beautifully and excellently that the symphony of our lives draws others to the infinite beauty of our designer, drowning out the provocative siren song of the world, whose fleeting and shallow beauty lures only to ugly brokenness.

Art can reflect but never surpass its artist, and when we climb out of bed with the goal of being a masterpiece whose beauty reflects our Creator for his glory in the very next thing we do, only then will the ripples of our faithfulness carry on for eternity.

Bonnie McKernan lives in Northern Virginia with her husband and their four kids. You can read more of her writing at her blog.

Article orignially posted on: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-art-of-womanliness

How to Parent Fearful Kids

Article by William P Smith

How do you help when your child is scared to go down the slide by themselves? Or won’t play with other kids at the playground? Or sobs uncontrollably at the thought of you leaving them in their Sunday school classroom? Or won’t stay in bed during a thunderstorm?

Fear comes in so many shapes and sizes, but there is a common underlying theme. In each instance, fearful kids perceive a threat to something that’s important to them—fitting in, being accepted, looking competent, feeling their world is predictable, staying unharmed, having pleasant experiences. So to safeguard what they want, they shrink back from life rather than embrace something new or untried.

This reaction can be very frustrating to a parent, since it’s hard to help your child do something well when they refuse to even try. It’s even more frustrating when their reaction becomes a patterned way of life.

Life of Fear

Fear has a way of generating a strategy that reinforces itself. The unspoken logic of fearful kids goes something like this: If I don’t try anything new, then nothing bad can happen to me. Oh look! I just did nothing and I’m still okay. My approach to life is working; therefore, I will continue not trying.

This is when you realize your goal as a parent isn’t to eradicate bad behavior in one small area of life. Instead, you have to help them realize that something bad is happening to them by not trying—they’re stunting their growth and development as a human being. They’re consigning themselves to a small world when they were made to rule over and care for a large one. Fear is costing them their potential as of God’s image-bearers.

Help fearful kids see the goodness of developing as a human being so they start valuing growth over a life of perceived safety.

You have to help a fearful child see the goodness of developing as a human being, so that they start valuing growth over a life of perceived safety.

Helping Fearful Kids Overcome

First, please don’t tell them that there’s nothing to be afraid of. They know better. They know that they might fail or get hurt. Telling them there’s nothing to fear will only convince them that they understand the world better than you. If they think you see less than they do, you’ll only convince them that you have nothing to offer.

Instead, acknowledge that they’re scared and either ask or guess what frightens them. Then, to the extent that you can, tell them that you get it. Let them know you understand why that’s scary for them. At the same time, though, remind them they’re not alone. Tell them you’re there with them and they don’t have to fight their fear all by themselves.

Share that you know what it’s like to be afraid. Can you recall a time when you were scared of the same thing or something similar? Use your own experience to forge a connection with them.

Please don’t tell [your children] that there’s nothing to be afraid of. They know better.

And then go beyond empathy. Talk about how you’re learning to handle your fears with faith. Tell them that you can face things that scare you because you know you’re not alone. Jesus has promised to be with you through every good or scary thing you’ll ever face. It’s good that your kids have you, but ultimately they will need more than what you can give. This is a great moment to teach them that we were never meant to live apart from the God who made us. Encourage them to believe that if Jesus doesn’t abandon their parents in their struggles, then they can trust him not to abandon them either.

Now take the time to work with them in advance of scary moments. Once you’ve seen your child afraid a couple of times, you can anticipate when fear may crop up again. Start prepping them to live by faith by saying something like, “Okay honey, later today we’re going to go to Sunday school. Now I know that’s been hard for you before. But I also know that Jesus will be with us. Let’s ask him to help you today.” Make sure you pick a small action that will help them take a step in a more proactive direction. You want to stretch their faith, not break it. “Could you maybe climb all the way to the top of the slide ladder without stopping before I carry you back down?”

Make sure you not only notice the small steps they make, but celebrate them verbally with your child.

Lastly—and this is critical—make sure you not only notice the small steps they make, but celebrate them verbally with your child. Don’t miss the opportunity to help them live their faith. Take 30 seconds to pray together, thanking Jesus for the courage he’s giving them to exercise bigger trust.

Patience in the Struggle

Are you sensing that this process will take lots of patient, and potentially frustrating, conversations? Parenting is so much more than simply identifying where our children are struggling. It’s also the commitment to find a million ways over the years to say, “I’m here for you. I love you and, because I love you, you can’t stay where you are. But we’ll go together.”

What keeps you hopeful and engaged with fearful kids when you realize that unraveling fear is a process that can take years, not hours? For me it’s the realization that I haven’t had to be more patient with any of my three children than Jesus has been, and continues to be, with me.

William P. Smith is a pastor, author, and retreat speaker who is regularly captured by God’s unrelenting grace and kindness, and longs for others to be as well. He’s the primary preaching pastor at Chelten, a church of hope, located outside of Philadelphia. You can follow him on Twitter and Facebook or get his podcast.

Originally posted on:  https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/parent-fearful-kids/

Superior Women And the Men Who Can’t Out-Give Them

Article by Douglas Wilson

Pastor, Moscow, Idaho

Near the end of his classic book Democracy in America, Alexis de Tocqueville said this:

Now that I am drawing to the close of this work, in which I have spoken of so many important things done by the Americans, to what the singular prosperity and growing strength of that people ought mainly to be attributed, I should reply: To the superiority of their women. (576)

Now the point in bringing this up is not to make any claims about the essential nature of Americans, who are sinners like everybody else, or to get moderns to trip over the word superiority. Rather the point is a simple one: it is to remark on the fact that during a critical time in our nation’s development, the women had a remarkable impact, and that (given the times) the potency of their virtue had little to do with many of the tricks that we use today to “empower women.”

Two Kinds of Wives

This reality lines up with many things found in Scripture. “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4). “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” (Proverbs 31:10). “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).

“A godly wife does not just adorn herself; she adorns her husband. She is a crown of glory.”TweetShare on Facebook

A godly wife does not just adorn herself; she adorns her husband. She is a crown of glory. She does this as a virtuous woman, and this is precious, in part, because of its comparative rarity. If it were easy, more would be happy to be virtuous. So, at the heart of an adorned and adorning wife is her deep and abiding fear of God.

But that which is designed to be glorious becomes particularly obnoxious whenever it fails to achieve its designed end. The woman was made to be the glory of her husband (1 Corinthians 11:7). What does it look like when she is not? We have a clear indication in one of the verses already cited — she is either a crown to her husband or she is rottenness in his bones. Proverbs presents both wisdom and folly to us under the figure of a woman.

The Bible repeats a warning about contentious wives a number of different ways. It is better to live in the desert with the jackals and wolves than to live with a contentious and angry woman (Proverbs 21:19). Living with a contentious woman is like listening to a nonstop drip on a rainy day (Proverbs 27:15). Think you are going to fix that leak? Good luck (Proverbs 27:16). It would be better to live in the attic behind the suitcases than to live in a spacious mansion with a noisy woman (Proverbs 21:9; cf. Proverbs 25:24; 14:1).

The Gracious Wife

One of the central duties assigned to wives is that of respect (Ephesians 5:33). We should not forget what biblical respect looks like. It consists of a chaste way of life coupled with fear (1 Peter 3:2, 6), a meek and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:3–4), and thoroughgoing humility of demeanor (1 Timothy 2:9). This is no breezy, casual respect; the Greek word is , meaning reverenceor fear (Ephesians 5:33).

The Bible also describes a godly woman as graced with wisdom and kindness. “A gracious woman retaineth honor: and strong men retain riches” (Proverbs 11:16, KJV). Just as riches flow to a strong man, so also honor flows to a gracious woman. So, a woman is the crown and glory of her husband to the extent that she is a gracious woman. If she is, then she retains honor as one who has fulfilled her calling.

Doing this, she completes her husband: God has said that it is not good for him to be alone, but also that it would be better for him to be alone than to have an ungracious wife. A gracious woman completes her husband.

“Godly marriage is designed in such a way as to make it impossible for a man to out-give his wife.”TweetShare on Facebook

She reverences her husband, which is not a servile fear, but rather a wholesome and godly reverence. Anyone who thinks that this demeans women needs to get out more. She does not honor him the way a serf honors the king, but rather honors him the way a crown honors a king. A gracious woman honors her husband.

And living this way, she does good to her husband. As he provides for her, she manages his household well. “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12). A gracious woman enriches her husband.

A Husband’s Crown

As the quotation from de Tocqueville indicates, when women are virtuous, people notice. Where does this come from? The apostle Paul tells us that a man who loves his wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:28).

Godly marriage is designed in such a way as to make it impossible for a man to out-give his wife. This is not because he gets to be the selfish one, but rather this is for the same reason an industrious farmer cannot possibly out-give his field. If a man sacrifices himself for his wife, as Christ did for the church, he will find that she is his thirty, sixty, and one-hundred fold. As his glory, she brings out his strengths.

She is where his strengths are manifested and come back to bless him.

Do Not Consume One Another

Article by Howard Eyrich

Galatians 5:15 "Do not consume one another".

The same Scriptures that provide us with the positive protocols about which we have written also delineates five practices that we should avoid in order to glorify God in our marriages and enhance a joyful relationship.

In this essay we will consider the protocol found in Galatians 5:15. It says this: “Do not consume one another.”  Let me suggest six ways that couples typical say or do that contributes to consuming one another. The first one is angry outbursts. Angry outbursts have a deleterious impact in several ways. They provoke anger in your mate. The anger may be a defensive anger, an anger of disgust or a retaliatory anger.  For example, Jim and Sally sat in the counselor’s office attempting to provide their counselor an understanding of how their marriage demise had spiraled. As Jim was reporting an incident for the sake of illustration, Sally responded with defensive anger. Immediately Jim shut down and withdrew.  Angry outbursts diminish affection, cooperation and hope that things can ever change.

A second way we consume one another is by an attitude of demandingness. Demandingness is often the outgrowth of unmet expectations. It is not unusual to hear in the counseling office an accusation that sounds something like this. “You are supposed to be the provider for this family (which often means I expect you to enable us to live at the level of our peers) and I am not to put up with your feeble attempts.” Or, a husband may say, “I thought when I married you that you were supposed to be available for my sexual needs. I did not see where the Bible limits that to once a week and if we are going to make it you will have to get with the program.” Now these illustrations may be simplified and overstated, but they are examples (and will be heard at times in counseling).

A third way of consuming one another is by sheer selfishness. Yes, demandingness is a form of selfishness, but this is more pervasive. What is in view here is a self-centeredness that touches all of life. Sometimes this is a malady of which the individual is totally unaware. For example, a person who was raised with the proverbial “silver spoon” in the mouth may well develop a self-centeredness that not only impacts the mate directly, but also impacts every other relationship. This person’s mate finds him/herself energy drained in attempts to manage the collateral damage with the children, the Sunday School class and even with his/her friends. The mate is consumed in the process.

Yet another practice that is consuming is sulking. The mate of a sulker finds him/herself consumed with the task of figuring out what is generating the displeasure of the mate this time. Often these attempts elicit some the anger response discussed above further exasperating the consuming of the mate.

No one appreciates being manipulated. But when manipulation is characteristic of a mate, it becomes consuming. If this trait is a character trait, it will often go unnoticed in courtship, but once engaged in living intimately it will surface. I once had a young couple in counseling where this is exactly what happened. The wife said, “If I had caught on to this when we were dating I would have broken the relationship. It takes all my effort to be alert to your tricks.

Lastly, we can consume one another by distrusting. In a relationship in which trust is absent, mates find themselves consumed with being self-protective. If I am not trustworthy, my mate is consumed by me. Her/his conscious energy is poured into the action of discernment.

So, when Paul writes, “Do not consume one another”, we once again have instruction from the hand of God as to how to live within the church and especially within the marriage in a manner that contributes to our happiness as an outgrowth of glorifying God.