Jesus Can Redeem Your Parenting (Yes, Even Yours)

Article by David McLemore   

You can’t make your children Christians, but you can make it easy to love Jesus in your home. You can seek to make your home ring with gospel joy. You can endeavor to make your family not only a family of Christians but a Christian family—sold out for Christ and his cause.

God has more for us than the hum-drum life of work, rest, and entertainment. He has more for your children than extra-curricular activities, college scholarships, and good jobs. He has the storehouses of grace and glory for your family.

Our problem is, as C.S. Lewis famously said, “we are far too easily pleased.” We settle for mud pies when a holiday at sea is ours for the taking.

As Christians and as parents, we should not settle for the goal of simply raising obedient Church-goers. Rather we should strive to meet a higher standard of parenting – one that invites our children to lives of sacrificial obedience to Christ.

DO NOT PROVOKE

In Ephesians 6:4, God calls parents to disciple their children: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Though Paul uses the word “fathers” here, this command applies to both fathers and mothers.

In Paul’s day, the children were under the father’s complete control. He could have them killed or sold into slavery. No law stood in his way. It’s easy to see in that kind of culture how a child would be provoked to anger. Who wouldn’t be provoked living in an unjust home?

But Christ came to bring justice. He came to set things right.

That’s why Paul begins with a negative command, “Do not provoke your children to anger.”

Though we may not live as first-century Christians did, this is still a frightening statement because it is saying that there is a possibility for a parent to create in their children a settled anger and resentment that could last for a very long time.

Of course there will be times when a child gets angry. Who doesn’t get angry? But there’s a difference between intermittent anger and deep, abiding anger as a result of your upbringing.

How does that happen?

On the one hand, parents can be too hard. They can give unnecessary commands, be too heavy-handed, or just down-right mean. They can be easily frustrated and lash out at small wrongdoings. They don’t care about discipling and training the child. They just want the child to fall in line.

King Saul was like that. In 1 Samuel 20, Saul noticed David wasn’t at dinner as he should have been. He asked his son Jonathan where David was. Now, Jonathan knew Saul was mad at David, wanting to kill him, so he helped David avoid the dinner. Jonathan was doing the right thing, but Saul didn’t care. He wanted him to fall in line. Saul said to his son, “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman.” Saul went on to command David be brought before him so he could be killed. When Jonathan asked what David had done, Saul thrust his spear at him. So Jonathan rose from the table in fierce anger. And rightly so.

That’s a parent who is too hard and too mean. But it’s also possible for a parent to be too soft. For example, in Genesis 37, we see the failures of Jacob as a father. What was Jacob’s failure? He was too soft on his son Joseph. He favored him above the others, and it led to the anger of his other sons. Eventually, they sold Joseph into slavery.

The point is, it’s easy to provoke our children to anger. We don’t have to be evil like King Saul. We can be a kind father like Jacob and do just as much damage.

When we fail to treat our children as a stewardship from the Lord and instead view them as servants for our agenda or necessities for our emotional state, we provoke either them or our other children to anger.

A STEWARDSHIP FROM GOD

A Christian parent doesn’t see their children as either an annoyance or an emotional crutch. Rather they understand their children to be a stewardship from the Lord, for his sake, and seek to bring up their kids in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

That last phrase is so important. Most parents will raise their children with discipline and instruction. But a Christian parent notices those last three words, “of the Lord.”

It’s not our discipline and instruction that matters. It’s Christ’s. It’s our duty to help our children to follow Jesus—not to follow us.

This means parents must be aware of the rhythms of their family life. How is your week structured? How much of a priority is Jesus in your family life? Is church a checklist item on Sunday morning or is it an anticipation on Saturday night? Is youth group dependent on the children’s sports practice or it is the reason you have to call the coach to explain their absence?

Your rhythms of family life will either prove or disprove the reality of God.

If you never pray or read the Bible in front of or with your kids, if you never talk about Jesus in any regular, open way, if you never invite others into your home for the sake of the gospel, if you never serve Jesus together as a family, if you never ask your kids about who they think Jesus is, if you’re just thankful you’re a Christian and going to heaven but your Christianity hasn’t made an impact on the way you raise your kids, then you haven’t yet realized the glory your family is missing with Christ.

It’s all too easy to just let life come at us, but a Christian parent loves God by helping their children follow Jesus. A Christian parent is active, treating their children as a stewardship from the Lord. Like Jesus, a Christian parent pursues.

You can’t save your children, but you can point them to the Savior. You can make the Savior real in your home.

JESUS REDEEMS OUR PARENTING

Some parents need to consider the command of Ephesians 6:4 with a new openness. Some haven’t parented according to their calling. So what’s the path forward?

Here’s a question that redefines everything in the Christian life, including parenting. It’s a question I’ve brought to bear in my own life in several areas recently.

Do I believe that Jesus is a Redeemer?

I respect him as King—one who watches over me. I listen to him as Prophet—one who speaks with power. But do I trust him as Redeemer—one who makes all things new?

When we trust him that way, we stop quenching the Spirit, and he starts working in our lives. Jesus can change the story of your family and my family, starting today. And he’s asking us, “Will you let me?”

That Jesus is a Redeemer means no parent, no matter their failures, is too far from his grace when it comes to discipling their children. You may think, “But our family is a mess.”

But aren’t we all?

By God’s grace, our path forward is as simple as turning to God. All you must do is say to Christ, “I’m your mess.” And he’ll come in and clean it up. That’s what a redeemer does: turns messes into miracles. And as your children see you turn to the Redeemer, they’ll learn what it means to follow Jesus. They’ll see that he’s a real Savior, and they’ll taste the grace he gives as your family begins to draw life from his mercy.

No one is the perfect parent, but if we’re waiting for perfection or nothing, we’ll get nothing every time.

Let’s trust Christ and say yes to the next right thing.

The triune God is at work in our lives to bring redemption. And in the Trinity, we have the Son who loves and honors the Father perfectly, the Father who never provokes to anger and knows how to discipline and instruct, and the Spirit who sustains it all.

The whole God is invested in the whole you. Our part is simply to trust him and not limit what he can do in us and in our families. 

David McLemore is the Director of Teaching Ministries at Refuge Church in Franklin, Tennessee. He also works for a large healthcare corporation where he manages an application development department. He is married to Sarah, and they have three sons. Read more of David’s writing on his blog, Things of the Sort.

Article posted at: http://gcdiscipleship.com/2018/08/07/jesus-can-redeem-your-parenting-yes-even-yours/

10 Ways to Identify True Grace

Article by Zach Barnhart

  We talk about grace a lot. We preach grace from the pulpit, say grace from the table, and strive to stay in each other’s good graces. “Grace” is one of the richest words in our Christian vernacular, and yet, that’s often all it remains—a word.

But is grace more than something we confess in a statement of faith? Is it more than just a word on our worship screens or in our vernacular?

Thomas Brooks was a man who not only talked about grace; he lived it. He felt the power of God’s grace and saw the effects of it in his life. His book, Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices, identifies the various schemes of Satan and the ways Christians fight against them. But just as much, Brooks hopes the reader catches a glimpse of the true grace of God—a grace that does something.

For Brooks, grace was more than a theory. It was real. It was visible and visceral. He notes that one of Satan’s primary devices for keeping Christians in a state of despair and doubt about their faith is “suggesting to them that their graces are not true, but counterfeit.”

Certainly, for us to feel that we have been “duped” by grace that’s not really there would be devastating to our faith. But God desires that we live in assurance, knowing that if we belong to Christ, nothing can separate us from Him (Rom. 8:38-39).

TEN WAYS TO IDENTIFY “TRUE GRACE”

To really live in grace, we must learn to distinguish what Brooks calls “true grace” from a false imitation. So how do we tell the difference between the two? Luckily, Brooks provides ten particulars that help us better define what true grace is. Here are Brooks’ ten statements with some personal commentary:

“True grace makes all glorious within and without.” Grace is a transformative reality. It does not leave us unaffected or stagnant, but like the breath God breathed into Adam, it rouses and awakens us to a new life. True grace, Brooks argues, is not like a lion becoming caged, where his environment or circumstances change but his nature does not. It is rather like the lion becoming a lamb. Our nature is made new by grace. The old is gone, and the new has come (2 Cor. 5:17).

“The objects of true grace are supernatural.” When we have been captured by true grace, our motivations and affections move to supernatural objects. Having a changed nature, we also have a changed allegiance, a changed mission, and a changed perspective on what the world can offer us. We now, by God’s transforming grace, seek a kingdom that is not of this world (John 18:36), treasures hidden in jars of clay (2 Cor. 4:17), and crowns of glory not made by human hands (1 Pet. 5:4).

“True grace enables a Christian, when he is himself, to do spiritual actions with real pleasure and delight.” Grace transforms internally, but it does not stop there. Grace changes us at the level of our actions. We do not act a new way merely because it’s our duty, but rather, because we delight to act in response to the grace we’ve been shown. Our service is not a burden but a joy to be spent for the souls of others (2 Cor. 12:15).

“True grace makes a man most careful, and most fearful of his own heart.” Grace has a way of turning our focus off of the shortcomings and defects of others. It levels the playing field. None can claim superiority to another in light of grace (Eph. 2:8-9). Grace does not jump to conclusions or make snap judgments.

“Grace will work a man’s heart to love and cleave to the strictest and holiest ways and things of God, for their purity and sanctity, in the face of all dangers and hardships.” There is a cost associated with following Jesus. We face internal pressure from our sin nature to put back on the old self and external pressure to cave to the world and all its opposition. But grace beckons us to behave in the world “with simplicity and godly sincerity” (2 Cor. 1:12).

“True grace will enable a man to step over the world’s crown, to take up Christ’s cross; to prefer the cross of Christ above the glory of this world.” Apart from grace, life is a quest to prove our worth and chase achievement. But because of grace, we have the freedom to boast in Christ alone. He makes us worthy. Our achievement is this: God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do (Rom. 8:3). We don’t need the world’s fool’s gold; we have an imperishable inheritance.

“Grace puts the soul upon spiritual duties, from spiritual and intrinsic motives…that doth constrain the soul to wait on God.” When our enemies Immediacy and Efficiency tempt us to despair, we have grace in our corner to remind us that Jesus declared from the cross, “It is finished” (John 19:30). What’s more, the work he gives us to do, he is bringing to completion in his time (Phil. 1:6). This does not depend at all on our impressiveness. Grace frees us to wait on him.

“Grace will cause a man to follow the Lord fully in the desertion of all sin, and in the observation of all God’s precepts.” We kill sin and follow the law because we have been given the privilege to do so. The wages of sin is death, and we came into the world totally bankrupt (Rom. 6:23). But now, because of grace, not only have our debts been paid—but we also have the opportunity to live righteously, with our whole hearts.

“True grace leads the soul to rest in Christ, as his chiefest good.” Grace enables us to draw near to our Lord’s throne with confidence and comfort (Heb. 4:16). Without grace, we would have every reason to be on edge, anxious, and fearful. But His love has cast out fear (1 John 4:18). His grace is a deep breath to the weary Christian.

“True grace will enable a soul to sit down satisfied and contented with the naked enjoyments of Christ.” Grace does not leave us lacking. We are like the sheep laid beside still waters by our Shepherd; we shall not want (Ps. 23:1). He is our Daily Bread and Living Water. Grace is unmerited favor, and it not only feeds the soul but fills it. It does not need to be dressed up. Grace alone is enough.

BLESSED ASSURANCE

Believer, do you find it hard to have confidence and assurance that you stand approved before God? Are you wondering what God thinks of you and whether or not you’re doing this Christian life the right way? How the grace of God has affected a person can tell you a lot about their spirituality.

If you’re finding yourself struggling to be sure of God’s grace in your life, run a diagnostics test. Ask yourself these questions:

• Has grace transformed your nature?
• Has grace changed your perspective?
• Has grace changed your actions?
• Has grace made you look inward?
• Has grace created a desire for holiness in your heart?
• Has grace freed you from having to prove your worth?
• Has grace caused you to wait on God in your life?
• Has grace made obedience to God a delight?
• Has grace allowed you to rest in Christ’s finished work?
• Has grace grown your contentment in Christ?

Your answers will help you determine what grace is really up to in your life.

GRACE IS NOT GRAY

A final note on grace that we cannot leave unnoticed as it relates to our assurance: When Jesus died for sinners, he did not do so in part. The grace found in salvation does not vary from person to person. Calvary eliminated the gray area. There is no one who has lived a good enough life or been a good enough person to make them “sort-of” righteous. And there is no one who has been justified and forgiven who will only have access to some of God’s grace. There is no scale from zero to ten that determines how much grace we’ve been shown; it is either a zero or a ten.

It’s fitting to close with one more word from Brooks:

“We have all things in Christ, and Christ is all things to a Christian. If we be sick, he is a physician; if we thirst, he is a fountain; if our sins trouble us, he is righteousness; if we stand in need of help, he is mighty to save; if we fear death, he is life; if we be in darkness, he is light; if we be weak; he is strength; if we be in poverty, he is plenty; if we desire heaven, he is the way.”

Zach Barnhart currently serves as Student Pastor of Northlake Church in Lago Vista, TX. He holds a Bachelor of Science from Middle Tennessee State University and is currently studying at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, seeking a Master of Theological Studies degree. He is married to his wife, Hannah. You can follow Zach on Twitter @zachbarnhart or check out his personal blog, Cultivated.

Article posted at:  http://gcdiscipleship.com/2018/08/19/10-ways-to-identify-true-grace/

God’s Presence > God’s Provision

 Article by John Onwuchekwa   

In the Lord’s Prayer (Matt. 6:9–13), Jesus helps us understand where our requests should begin. After establishing that God is our Father who is as compassionate as he is capable, Jesus reminds us that God’s power aims to advance his agenda, not ours. Jesus shows us that Christian prayer begins with longing for God’s presence before his provision.

All of the requests at the beginning of the Lord’s Prayer are godward. Take a look: Our Father in heaven, hallowed by your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven (Matt. 6:9–10).

This removes man from the center of the picture. It displaces our needs and desires, reminding us that the most important things about prayer are not what God gives us by way of his possessions, but what God gives by way of his presence. Throughout the Bible, the people who gain peace and security in this life are the people who long for God’s presence more than his possessions. Jesus teaches us this in his first three petitions.

FIRST PETITION: GOD’S HONOR

“Hallowed be your name” (Matt. 6:9) could better be translated for our ears, “I pray that your name will be honored.” In the Old Testament, when people lived against God’s will and design, their wicked deeds were said to profane the name of God.

To pray “hallowed be your name” means being concerned more with the advancement of God’s reputation in the world than your own. It’s praying that God himself would protect his name from being defamed and obscured, so that people don’t accept a wrong picture of him or reject a distorted picture of him.

God’s name is holy. Nothing can change that reality. We’re simply asking him to work in the world so that his name would be treated as such.

The glory of God has come into the world in the person of Jesus. “Hallowed be your name” therefore means praying that everyone would respond appropriately to Jesus. The world we live in is as unimpressed with God as someone who stays seated when the bride walks down the aisle. This is because they’re blinded to the glory of God as revealed in Jesus (see 2 Cor. 4:3–6).

So we begin prayer by pleading that God’s glory would be seen and submitted to in the person of Christ. The beauty of this petition is that we’re asking God to do what he already wants to do.

This request sets the tone for the rest of the prayer. All that we ask of God must flow from this all-consuming desire.

SECOND PETITION: GOD’S KINGDOM COME

“Your kingdom come” (Matt. 6:10) is a prayer for the success of the gospel in the world. We know the gospel has changed us, so we plead for God’s kingdom to be extended through the gospel going out to the ends of the world.

We’re tired of the world we live in, and we long for something better. We want to experience the fullness of the Beatitudes. We long to be where God’s rule is recognized and adored. God has promised this will happen, and his promise stokes our longing.

When a dad promises his daughter that he will take her to Disneyland, the child knows this trip isn’t a matter of if, but when. In her eagerness to receive the fulfillment of her dad’s promise, she constantly asks, “When are we going? You promised!” This is what it’s like for us to pray “your kingdom come.”

We cannot serve two masters. Likewise, two kings—us and God—cannot coexist. Someone’s rule and ambitions have to die. As Christians, our agendas have in fact died, and it’s glorious because ours would have killed us (Gal. 2:20). Praying “your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” unifies us because it helps us long for his kingdom. It keeps us from back-biting, from jockeying for position, from longing to establish little kingdoms of our own.

THIRD PETITION: YOUR WILL BE DONE

“Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt. 6:10) further develops the second request for God’s kingdom to come. We long to see God reign here on earth in the same way he already reigns in heaven.

We don’t want people to submit reluctantly to God’s rule. We want them to joyfully submit because they’re convinced he is good. We pray for God’s will to be accomplished on earth however he determines, even if it means our suffering, sacrifice, and death.

Establishing God’s kingdom on earth means displacing lesser kingdoms, which is what churches do through their gospel work. Local churches, after all, are outposts of God’s kingdom. So praying that his will would be done means praying that God would continue to establish his gospel work through local churches.

This prayer for God’s presence to be seen and enjoyed is quite startling to a world that prefers for God to be an absentee Father that just sends a big child support check each month. Because we’re sinful, we would prefer God to give us our demands while demanding nothing in return. We love to set the agenda. But Jesus teaches us here that God’s presence precedes his provision. His agenda is far better than ours.

When our local churches pray and live in light of these first three petitions, it’s attractive to the watching world because we display a different picture of what God is like. It shows the world how ineffective its kingdoms are. It strengthens our witness.

John Onwuchekwa (MA, Dallas Theological Seminary) serves as pastor of Cornerstone Church in Atlanta, Georgia.

Content taken from Prayer: How Praying Together Shapes the Church by John Onwuchekwa, ©2018. Used by permission of Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Il 60187,www.crossway.org.

Article posted at:  http://gcdiscipleship.com/2018/08/30/gods-presence-gods-provision/

Be Stubborn – in the Best Way

What we learn from Moses' walk with the Lord

by Kevin Carson

If you search “formulas for success in life” on Google, you get about 41,100,000 results. That’s crazy. Are there that many different formulas for success? Is it just up to the individual to survey the options and choose what may work the best? Talk about pressure to get it right! How am I supposed to know which one to pick?

For the follower of Christ, the best way to determine how to be successful is to start in the Bible. You may want to consider prescriptively how to be successful and descriptively look at those who were successful. Who are the individuals that God blessed and why?

One of those Bible characters God richly blessed was Moses. The Bible describes his relationship with God at Moses’ death this way: “But since then there has not arisen in Israel a prophet like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face” (Deut 34:10). I’m not sure your definition of a successful person, but it must include Moses. Then what can we observe about Moses that helps us for daily living today?

Let me suggest three key observations related to Moses that will help us be the best version of the kind of person God intends for us to be.

Moses insisted on the Lord’s Presence.

Before the children of Israel left Mount Sinai for the Promised Land, God told Moses that He would send an angel to go with them on the journey. God said, “And I will send My Angel before you, and I will drive out the Canaanite and the Amorite and the Hittite and the Perizzite and the Hivite and the Jebusite. Go up to a land flowing with mild and honey; for I will not go up in your midst…” (Ex 33:2-3).

Bottom line – Moses is promised success. God promised to send an angel to go before them and give them the Promised Land. They win. They get the land. The other people are defeated. God promises victory. Most of us would be satisfied with this.

However, check out Moses’ response to God. “If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here. For how then will it be known that Your people and I have found grace in Your sight, except You go with us? So we shall be separate, Your people and I, from all the people who are upon the face of the earth” (Ex 33:15-16).

Moses basically explains to God that he is not willing to go anywhere – even with the promise of victory – without God going with them. Moses insisted on the Lord’s presence. In the best way, Moses was stubborn. He knew any victory would be shallow if in the process of gaining the victory that they missed out on the presence of God.

Now get that. Victory – having all your goals met – fails to satisfy if, in the process, you miss out on the presence of God. As they say, victory is shallow. What good is there in gaining everything if you miss God’s presence in the process? Ultimately, that is not success at all.

Victory - having all your goals met - fails to satisfy if, in the process, you miss out on the presence of God.

Moses enjoyed God’s presence.

God and Moses were friends. Moses talked daily with God. The Bible says, “So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend” (Ex 33:11). Imagine that…God spoke to Moses as a friend. God and Moses enjoyed each other’s presence. Think how sweet it is to be with your best friend – to talk, laugh, enjoy each other’s presence. When the time is gone, you are refreshed, renewed, and restored. A great conversation with your close friend can take the worst of circumstances and make them better, can take a mediocre day and turn it into a good day, and can provide the uplift you need to face a particular challenge because you have received encouragement, advice, and support. These benefits are from our human friends.

Now imagine enjoying God’s presence in a similar way. Moses and God were friends. Moses spent regular time with Him (Ex 33:7-11). How incredible is that?

Guess what? If you are a Christ-follower, then you also are considered a friend of God (John 15:9-17). Jesus called His followers His friends. He invites us to abide with Him. He loves us. Just as we read of God having specific friends like Moses and Abraham (James 2:23), we also read that Jesus chooses to be our Friend and invites us to enjoy His presence. He never leaves us or forsakes us. He is with us always (Matt 28:20). The issue is not whether or not Jesus is with us, the issue is whether or not you enjoy His presence and reap the benefits of that friendship.

The issue is not whether or not Jesus is with us, the issue is whether or not you enjoy His presence and reap the benefits of that friendship.

Moses recognized God’s friendship as grace.

Moses asked God, “For how then will it be known that Your people and I have found grace in Your sight, except You go with us?” (Ex 33:16). Moses made a one-to-one connection between God’s grace and His presence. Again, that’s what is so cool about our relationship with God too. We have His presence always. God the Father is omnipresent, God the Son never leaves us, God the Holy Spirit indwells us, and God’s Word – His words to us – is forever. We can read His Word, memorize His Word, meditate on His Word, and share His Word with each other. All of this is grace.

The friendship of God is grace upon grace upon grace. We do not deserve it, just as Moses did not deserve it. God said to Moses, “I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion” (Ex 33:19). Moses and the children of Israel – just like every one of us – did not deserve God’s grace. Yet, God in His grace was their friend. As Paul considered God’s relationship with Israel, he concluded, “So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy” (Rom 9:15-16). Your friendship with God magnifies God’s mercy and grace. It is no small thing to be a friend of God.

Your friendship with God magnifies God's mercy and grace. It is no small thing to be a friend of God.

Are you stubborn in the best way?

Are you stubborn in the best way? Do you insist on not going anywhere without the awareness of God’s presence? Do you recognize than any victory or success in life is empty or vain without enjoying God’s presence along the way? Do you worship God daily in gratitude of His marvelous grace and mercy that He bestows upon you in friendship?

Be stubborn in the best way. Do not budge one inch from your current position without making yourself aware of God’s presence, enjoying His presence, and rejoicing in the grace of God’s presence with you in this moment and throughout your day and night.

For more information on the presence of God, consider this post: When Your Trial Seems Impossible.

Pastor Kevin’s Blog | Walking together through life as friends in Christ sharing wisdom along the journey

© 2018 KEVINCARSON.COM

Seven things your small-group leader wishes you knew

Article by Tim Thornborough 

As soon as September starts, the Autumn routine kicks in. Sunday school; guest events; youth groups; home groups. Apart from a brief breather in October, we’re all pretty much running hard until we collapse into bed filled with Christmas Dinner.

In all the busy-ness, it’s tempting to think of your home group as an optional extra—to fit in so long as you have the time, and the energy.

Here’s 7 things that your home group leaders wishes you knew:

1. Your attendance really matters. Even if you are dead on your feet, with numbed neurones from a brutal day at the grindstone—just being there will be a massive encouragement and help to others.
2. Your thoughts really matter. Your group leader doesn’t want the Bible study to be “lively” for the sake of it. A home group is an expression of a fundamental principle of the Christian life: God’s people gathered around God’s word, trying to work out how God would have us live for him today. Sharing your thoughts from the passage with the group—even if you are nervous to speaking up, or think your observations are obvious—is really important for everyone in the room. It’s what fellowship is all about.
3. Your prayers really matter. We pray en masse at whole church gatherings, but it is in small groups that prayer takes on a more intimate character. You bless and encourage others by praying out loud for them, and by engaging with their prayer requests in a way that shows you have listened and understood what they are struggling with.
4. Your prayer requests really matter. As forgiven sinners, Christians should be free-er than most to admit weakness, failures, needs. Doing so in a small group is easier than a larger group, and it helps others to know that they are not alone in their experience of weakness and failure. This surely part of what James means when he encourages us to confess our sins to one another (James 5:16).
5. Your gratitude matters. Prayer times can often be characterised by a lot of grumbling: illness, trauma, conflict and … well, more illness! Expressing things we are grateful to God for is a great example to set for others—especially if what we are grateful for is everyday experiences that others will have. If you invite people to rejoice in God’s goodness and grace with you, you will make your group prayer times more rounded and rewarding.
6. Your laughter matters. There should be moments for seriousness any time Christians meet. But our gatherings are chiefly characterised by joy. After all, we share the riches of Christ, and look forward to eternity together. Every home group should be a little taste of heaven. So smiling and laughing with the group is of particular importance; if we treat it as a business meeting, or a classroom, we’re missing the point.
7. Your dependence on the group matters. All the above adds up one thing. Participating in your home group with joy is a sign that you have got a healthy relationship with church. Not a club to dip into. But a family to belong to, that depends on each other in tangible ways.

I know it can feel burdensome to get into gear for the season. But when you understand both what you receive and what you can give, home group takes on a whole new perspective.

Article posted at: https://www.thegoodbook.co.uk/blog/interestingthoughts/2018/09/03/seven-things-your-small-group-leader-wishes-you-kn/

3 Key Beliefs that Fuel Contentment

Article by Michael Kelley

Find the source.

It’s a good practice in most areas of life. If you have water in your basement, don’t just clean up the water. Find the source of where it’s coming in. If you have ants in your kitchen, don’t just spray the ants. Find the source of where they’re gaining access. If you have a pain in your body, don’t just take Advil. Find the source to make sure nothing deeper is going on.

See the problem, then find the source.

So it is spiritually. We see a behavior manifest itself, and we should be quick to focus on the mess it creates. But we shouldn’t stop there – we should find the source. And when we follow the trail of that behavior, we will always end up back at the heart. There, in our hearts, we will likely find some misshapen belief about God that is working itself out in various ways. We treat those manifestations, but we ask the Holy Spirit to do surgery on our hearts.

Let’s apply that philosophy to an overall issue that most of us deal with – that of discontentment in life. Let’s say that you look around your life, and you find yourself constantly thirsting and striving for more. You are living with a sense of entitlement, borne by your discontent, and you are entertaining the fantasies of the ever elusive “else”:

• You want, and you deserve, something else in your marriage.
• You want, and you deserve, something else in terms of your income.
• You want, and you deserve, something else in terms of your living situation.
• You want, and you deserve, something else in terms of your personal importance.

In pretty much every area of your life, you are dissatisfied with the current situation. And while there is nothing wrong in and of itself, for example, in advancing your career, in these particular situations, you find an unhealthy preoccupation with that advancement. Your desire has morphed into something selfishly sinful and idolatrously entitled.

This discontentment is the symptom, but what is the source? If you and I are living in this way, there is something malfunctioning in our hearts. Our beliefs have been corrupted, and this kind of life is the evidence. Once we’re at the heart level, then, our question shifts. If we want to live a life of contentment, then that life should be fueled by what we believe to be true about God. So what must we believe to be true about God if we are to live contentedly? At least three things:

1. You must believe that God is in control. 

Did you come to this marriage, this home, this job, this life by accident? If you did, then by all means, seek something other and else. If it all happened by accident, then you should get all you can while you can. But if there is actually some kind of intentionality behind this, if God is truly in control, then there must be reason and meaning behind where you find yourself in life right now. If God is in control, then you can pursue and pray toward a sense of contentment where you are. But that’s not the only thing you have to believe. You not only have to believe that God is in control…

2. You must believe God is loving. 

Most of us at one point or another have had a boss that loved the little bit of power and control that he or she has over us. Because they loved it, they abused it. They used that power not to lift others up and to serve them, but used it instead to beat them down. If you only believe God is in control, but are not convinced He loves you, it means that you should do everything in your power to escape from under His thumb if that were possible, because you know that He will abuse the power He has over you for His own enjoyment. But if you do actually believe God is both all powerful and that He actually does love you, then you are free to be content in the situation you find yourself in. Though it might be difficult, you can choose to believe God has placed you there intentionally, and though you can’t for the life of you see how, you know that ultimately this, too, is for your good. Which leads us to the third thing you must believe about God to lived contentedly…

3. You must believe God is generous. 

Now this is where it gets even more difficult, because the root of many of our choices is actually a failure to believe in the generosity of God. One of the great lies that we believe over and over again is that God is holding out on us. It is, in fact, the same lie that the serpent fed to Eve on the day of the fall – that there is another tree that has the best fruit, and this best fruit is what God is actually keeping from you. So it is with us. We look at our jobs, our families, our incomes, and we foster the belief that God is holding out on us. And yet the truth is completely opposite.

God is not holding out on us because there’s nothing left for Him to hold out. He has already given us every spiritual blessing in Christ (Eph. 1:3).

Contentment is not a feeling you drift in and out of. Rather, contentment is fueled by belief. It’s a demonstration of our faith in a powerful, loving, and generous God. When we are content, we demonstrate that we believe God has intentionally placed us where we are, out of His love, and He was good and generous in doing so.

Michael Kelley

Michael Kelley, a Regular Contributor to For The Church, is a husband and father of three who lives in Nashville, Tennessee, where he serves as the Director of Groups Ministry for LifeWay Christian Resources. He is also the author of Wednesdays Were Pretty Normal: A Boy, Cancer, and God and Boring: Finding an Extraordinary God in an Ordinary Life. Follow him on Twitter at @_michaelkelley or read more content like this at michaelkelley.co.

Article posted at:  https://ftc.co/resource-library/blog-entries/3-key-beliefs-that-fuel-contentment

Checklist Christianity

Article by Adam Kareus

Checklists are nice things. They help me stay focused. They help me feel accomplished. They can motive me and drive me. I love to use checklists in my day to day life because they assure me I am staying on task and making progress.

But checklists don’t work for everything. I can’t love my wife via a checklist. She will not feel important or cared for if I just made sure all the boxes were checked off. In fact, she will feel the exact opposite. That is because checklists carry the danger of losing sight of what really matters. In a relationship, the caring for and serving of your loved one is important, and while that might come through certain actions, those actions are more genuine when they are not dictated by a checklist. Imagine a husband coming home having completed his checklist to please his wife, he has bought the flowers, he has taken out the trash, and more. But she doesn’t feel it or even on some level believe it. Because he hasn’t spent the time or had the consideration to listen or talk with his wife, to truly love her.

Checklists also don’t work for our relationship with God. We can approach our devotional life as a checklist. We pray. Check. We read our bible. Check. We go to church. Check. We give to our church. Check. We help out the poor in our community. Check. If we are not careful, we come before God with all the boxes (so we think) checked off but our hearts far away from Him.

This checklist mentality easily creeps into youth ministries and children ministries. It is easier in so many ways to view our responsibility as a checklist or a list of dos and don’ts. It can be easy to fall back on providing a checklist to younger Christians as well. But that is surface level at best and will result in no lasting change. This is what Paul speaks about in Colossians 2:21-23. These checklists or lists of dos and don’ts might seem wise but don’t have the power to change us.

A checklist without a heart change is giving a corpse a facelift.

Outward change completely misses the point. The Pharisees were condemned by Jesus for this in Matthew 23. And so many ministries can fall into this trap, that if they can get that youth to dress differently or stop smoking or stop partying than they have touched him with the gospel. All they have done is made a walking corpse look a little better.

Instead, we proclaim the gospel. We are sinners and Jesus died for sinners. We proclaim the truth and trust the Holy Spirit to work through the proclamation and through God’s Word to change hearts. Because that is what is needed. We need God to give life to dead sinners and that life changes them from the inside out. That life starts to be pumped throughout their bodies and into everything they do. This is something that defies a checklist because it is outside our control. But the truly amazing thing is that once that life is flowing, those items on the checklist start to be done anyway. Not out of obligation to a list, but because a life of loving Jesus naturally checks off the law of God. Paul says as much in Romans 13:8-10.

So we pray for a changed heart in those we love. We pray that God works powerfully in us to change us so that we can live for Him in everything. And we put the checklist down, trusting that if we live for Christ we will take care of what is important. 

Adam Kareus

Adam Kareus is the lead pastor at River Valley Community Church in Fort Smith, AR. He graduated from Denver Seminar in 2009 with his M.Div. Adam is married to Kacee, and they have two kids, Titus and Jillian.

Article posted at:  https://ftc.co/resource-library/blog-entries/checklist-christianity

No Such Thing as Free Porn

Article by Cam Triggs,  Youth pastor, Jacksonville, Florida

The hot steam of a deadline breathes down your neck. It’s two o’clock in the morning, and you are alone in your office completing a last-minute project. As you viciously beat away at the keyboard, you pause and turn to the Internet as a resource. While browsing the Web, you notice an ad: “Free Porn.” You look at the popup appalled, yet intrigued.

In the isolated dark office, sin disguises itself as “free” — free of cost, free of accountability, and free of consequences. Don’t believe the lie. Deconstructing the phrase “Free Porn” may save your marriage and ultimately your relationship with Christ. Here is a truth we desperately need today: There is no such thing as free porn.

Free Porn Is False Advertisement

Satan, the world, and the flesh combine to make a perverse, yet persuasive marketing firm. Satan is the source and father of lies (John 8:44), the world is under his control (1 John 5:19), and the flesh swindles us to believe God may be mocked while our hearts deceive us as well (Galatians 6:7–8; Jeremiah 17:9). It is clear then that spiritual warfare has much to do with battling the lies of this unholy trinity. It should not surprise us that Satan, the world, and our own flesh feed us lies to enhance the temptation of sin.

“Porn always costs us dearly, and it is never a victimless crime.”

A wise Puritan said, “Satan presents the bait and hides the hook.” He is a crafty enemy that presents immediate pleasure, yet hides catastrophic consequences. There are few lies greater today than the myth that porn is free.

There is always great cost in viewing porn. It is never free. It always costs money. It will always demand we surrender integrity. It will always force the corruption of Christ-centered character. Many men have paid for so-called “free porn” with salty tears, broken marriages, and hours of counseling. Many women have paid for so-called “free porn” with vicious memories, broken bodies, and shattered souls.

The Truth About Porn

God frees us by giving us the truth (John 8:32). The simple truth is that porn always costs us dearly, and it is never a victimless crime. Peer-reviewed research suggests that porn is highly addictive, negatively affects our behavior, and functionally operates as a destructive drug.

Porn has also been proven to ruin marriages, stress relationships, and decrease the desire for true intimacy with monogamous mates. In other words, porn kills relationships and diminishes our very being.

Porn also leaves a trail of tears and scarred victims. Many in the porn industry have testified of disease, drugs, violence, rape, and even sexual trafficking plaguing the business.

And above all, porn dishonors God. It perverts the sacred creation of God and exchanges it with lust, selfishness, and greed. What God created for good, porn perverts for evil. It takes his good gift of sex and devalues it. Porn makes sex about deviant pleasure, cheap romance, and gross satisfaction.

God intends sex to be so much more. God created sex for the purpose of cultivating intimacy between a man and his wife, and to be the means by which the blessing of children arrive. It is no coincidence, then, that both children and marriage are now devalued in today’s porn-ified culture.

Freedom in Jesus

Porn is sinful, and the saying about sin is still true: It will cost you more than you can pay and make you stay longer than you can stay. Sin is not controllable or stagnant. Sin is decadent. First you are walking in sin, then you are standing in sin, and before you know it you are sitting in it (Psalm 1:1–2). The same is true with porn. You think you can quit whenever you want. But you can’t. Porn is increasingly addictive, readily available, and like any other addiction more is needed the longer the practice continues. For many, porn has evolved from a curious click into a crippling addiction.

“There is freedom from ‘free porn’ in Christ Jesus.”

Here is the good news: There is freedom from “free porn” in Christ Jesus. The false security, enslaving escape, and luring lust of porn will only leave you empty. But in the good news of redemption in Christ, we find concrete security, promised perseverance, and true water that quenches the soul.

In Christ, we find the intimacy we truly desire as reconciled children to an almighty Father. In Christ, we find the free offer of grace that comes without any strings attached or any webs that deceitfully entangle us into bondage.

May Jesus truly set you free with the true freedom that exposes the lie of free porn.

Cam Triggs is a husband, father, and youth pastor. He holds an M.A. in theological studies from Reformed Theological Seminary. He blogs at camtriggs.com and serves the city of Jacksonville, Florida, through his local church.

Article posted at:  https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/no-such-thing-as-free-porn

Seven Ways God Reigns Over Evil

Sermon Excerpt by John Piper

What does the Bible present to us, through the whole range of redemptive history — from beginning to end — as the way God relates to Satan’s will? I don’t want to speculate. I want Bible verses. I want Bible statements about how God relates to Satan, and then maybe seeing enough ways that God relates to Satan, I could project back and say, Well, if he relates to him that way here, he related to him that way there.

That’s my approach, and you can assess whether you think that’s wise. What I want to do is just give you seven glimpses of how God relates to Satan in the Bible.

1. Satan is just God’s lackey.

Satan is called “the ruler of this world” in John 12:31. However, other texts say things like this:

“The Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will.” (Daniel 4:17)

The Lord brings the counsel of the nations to nothing;
   he frustrates the plans of the peoples.
The counsel of the Lord stands forever,
   the plans of his heart to all generations. (Psalm 33:10–11)

From which I infer: Yes, Satan is the god of this world and the ruler of this age, but not ultimately. He is a lackey with a leash underneath this great God who decides who kings are and when they’re done.

2. Unclean spirits obey Jesus.

Although unclean spirits are everywhere in the world, doing deceptive and murderous things, Jesus Christ is described as having all authority in heaven and on earth. And then you get an amazing statement like this, clearly spoken as the truth about Jesus in Mark 1:27:

“He commands even the unclean spirits, and they obey him.”

You should think a long time about that. When Jesus speaks with absolute authority, the Devil does what he is told. Period. Right? That’s what it says. There aren’t seasons when Jesus is not authoritative and seasons when he is authoritative. If it says in the Bible, “Jesus commands the unclean spirits, and they obey,” they obey whenever he speaks that way.

3. God determines our suffering.

Satan is described as a roaring lion, prowling and seeking to devour people. And Peter says in 1 Peter 5:9,

Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

In other words, the jaws of the lion are suffering. Resist. He’s prowling around like a lion, seeking to devour people. Resist him, firm in your faith, because you know that the same experience of suffering is being experienced by your brethren around the world. Therefore, the suffering of Christians is the jaws of the lion coming down on them. Satan is real. Don’t mess with him. But then you read these words in the same book (1 Peter 3:17):

It is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.

If God should will, the jaws will close and not before. God will decide whether they get out — not the devil, ultimately.

4. Only God gives and takes life.

Satan is a murderer from beginning to end. He’s a murderer. Has the Devil, since his fall, taken out of the hand of the Almighty the gift of life and death? He has not. Deuteronomy 32:39:

“See now that I, even I, am he,
   and there is no god beside me;
I kill and I make alive;
   I wound and I heal;
and there is none that can deliver out of my hand.”

Do you remember James 4:13–15?

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit” — yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”

And if he doesn’t will, I won’t. If I make it home tonight, God got me home. If I have a heart attack on the way home, God took me home. So yes, Satan is a murderer, but he does not have ultimate say on whom he murders — God does.

5. Satan cannot harm anyone without God’s permission.

When Satan wants to destroy a saint, he must get permission before he touches him. So he comes to God and says, “Job only worships you because he’s rich. If I take his camels, donkeys, servants, he’ll curse you” (see Job 1:9–11). And God gives him permission, but he puts a limit. “Don’t you touch his body” (see Job 1:12). So he kills them all. Job falls on his face: “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away” (Job 1:21). Satan has to get permission to go after his body, and he gets it. But God says, “Don’t you kill him” (see Job 2:6). Isn’t that remarkable? So Satan does harm to us, but not without God’s say.

6. Jesus is sovereign over Satan’s schemes.

Satan is a great tempter in your life. He’ll tempt you before you go to bed tonight. He wants you to sin more than he wants anything. He wants to get you sinning and sinning and sinning so you make shipwreck of your life. He was behind the three denials of Peter. The Bible says this clearly. However, somebody else was also there behind them. Let me read you these amazing words from Luke 22:31. Jesus says,

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat.”

It’s like Satan coming to God in the case of Job. He came to God in the case of Peter. What that means is he wants to take Peter and, through some kind of fear or sin, squish him through the grate so that Peter comes out here, and faith stays there. Then you have a faithless Peter, with faith sifted out. That’s what was going on that night. Satan wanted to make him really afraid — take all faith out of his life. That’s what Satan designed to do. Jesus continues in Luke 22:32,

“But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

He did not say, “If you turn again, I hope you’ll be a strengthener.” He was sovereign over Satan’s designs right there. “I’m praying for you, Peter. I have interceded with the almighty God, and we have decided: you will deny me three times. You will cry, and when you cry, you will repent. And when you repent, you will become a rock. And on this rock, I will build my church.”

7. Satan can blind, but God causes us to see again.

Second Corinthians 4:4: “The god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers.” Satan is a great blinder. Some of you in this room right now are spiritually blind, meaning that you’re listening to me, and this message right now means nothing to you. You just want to get out of here because Satan has blinded your mind. You have no spiritual taste buds. Truth, like what I’m speaking here, doesn’t do anything. It might make you mad, but it doesn’t awaken worship or passion or zeal or love or resolve to obey. That’s a spiritual work of God, and Satan is a great blinder.

The question is, Is he ultimately powerful in his blinding, or does God have final say whether light breaks into your life? Two verses later, Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:6:

God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

When God resolves to make lights go on in your heart, no devil can stop him.

So those are seven glimpses. I could multiply them over and over again. So here I am, back at my question about the origin of Satan’s sinfulness. Is God helpless before the will of his own angels? Is there power outside God himself that limits his rule over them? My conclusion is that, from cover to cover, the Bible presents God as governing Satan in all he does — no exceptions.

And therefore, I would never, ever biblically infer back into eternity and say, Satan got the upper hand or God was helpless. God couldn’t exert enough influence to win this guy’s allegiance. He could get yours, but he couldn’t get Satan’s? No, God holds sway over the wills of his angels. He commands evil spirits, and they obey him. Therefore, if they disobey, he ordained that they disobey — he permitted them to disobey. If God permits Satan’s fall, it isn’t because he’s helpless; it’s because he’s got a purpose for it.

Are You an Immature Christian? Helping You Consider Being a Carnal Christian

Article by Kevin Carson

Have you ever been accused of being a big baby? Recently I was complaining about getting a bunch of vaccinations for an upcoming trip and someone suggested I was a big baby. We both laughed and in reality I was playing it up anyway. However, the accusation of being a big baby is not funny when the person means it.

Now consider yourself spiritually. Has anyone ever insinuated that you are a baby Christian. Is it possible that you are an immature Christian? What about a carnal Christian? In reality, all three terms (baby, immature, carnal) are the same. Furthermore, to be called any of the three or to be any of the three is significant.

What is an immature, baby, or carnal Christian?

An immature, baby, or carnal Christian is one driven by his or her own personal desires more than the Spirit working through the Word of God. This Christian walks in the flesh as against walking in the Spirit (1 Cor 3:1-4; Heb 5:12-14; Gal 5:16-26; James 3:13-18). The Apostle Paul describes this person as one dominated by envy, strife, and one that promotes division. One who behaves like an unregenerate person.

How does an unregenerate person (i.e., unbeliever, fallen man, natural man) behave? This person is dominated by the flesh or pleasing self rather than having any influence of the Spirit working in his or her life. Paul does not say that this person is an unregenerate person; rather, this person acts like an unbeliever. In other words, this person is driven by the flesh in one way or another. Often, sad to say, this person is also self-deceived as to their own maturity.

The heartbreak of every pastor

As Paul writes to the Corinthian Christians, he deals with multiple issues related to sin, selfishness, and a general lack of godliness among these followers of Christ. He desires to help these followers of Christ in specific areas better honor God. However, he laments, “I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal” (1 Cor 3:2-3). They were still babes in Christ and had not grown into maturing adults.

Every pastor grieves over those in the congregation who fail to grow in Christ. How sad on many levels – again, especially when the person is self-deceived into believing that he or she is mature (1 Cor 3:18). Often it is in a particular area of spiritual blindness where the Christian has allowed various levels of idolatry to develop. These believers are being driven by the flesh, primarily concerned with what they want, when they want it, and how they want it. Much of the consumer-driven, have-it-my-way, this-is-what’s-best-for-me mindset among Christians reflect this.

Pastors desire the followers of Christ under their care to self-sacrificially love and serve each other as Christ does the church. This takes place through the self-sacrifice of practicing the one-anothers in the Scripture on every level of relationship. Many homes struggle because of carnality. Many Christians struggle maintaining faithful and service-oriented church attendance because of this.

What grieves pastors most is the fact that we understand God intended the church to be a maturing body where each one serves the other in self-sacrificial love and kindness placing the interests of others as important as self (Eph 4:11-16; Phil 2:1-11). Pastors see the result in the church, in people’s lives, and in the community as they engage carnal Christians. God is not honored, people are not joyful in Christ, and the church is hindered – all because of a lack of maturity.

The way forward toward maturity

Self Counsel. The first step toward maturity is self counsel. Here, you begin to ask yourself key questions related to your desires, attitudes, thoughts, and actions. Are there symptoms of immaturity in your life? Are there places where you primarily think about yourself, what you want, what you desire, and what you think is best more than others? Do you envy others? Are you jealous? Do you promote strive? What about selfish ambition? Are you angry? Do you gossip? Do you lie? Are your behaviors consistent with someone in the flesh? Is there sin you have not confessed?

Repentance. After you have identified places in your life that do not honor God, confess those things before God in true repentance. Recognize where you have failed to grow through the Spirit and instead are living like an unbeliever. Confess those things to God and ask forgiveness for your sin. Talk to those who you have intentionally and unintentionally sinned against. Seek their forgiveness as well.

Accountability. Invite someone to help you and walk alongside you as you strive to walk in Christ. This step is particularly helpful on two levels. First, this person or group of people can help encourage you when you need it. A kind and uplifting word is helpful when things seem especially tough. Second, this person or group can help you see areas of spiritual blindness where you are deceived by your own heart. The Bible refers to the wisdom in this type of honest conversation on multiple levels. We each need others to help us as we strive in our walk with Christ.

Self-Discipline. Begin practicing regular steps of self-discipline which should lead you to better and greater growth. Daily disciplines include practices such as reading the Bible, prayer, confession, and serving others. As you read your Bible, ask key questions related to what the paragraph means and how it applies to your life. Try to keep it on your mind throughout the day. Pick an area or two of application where you need to grow and seek to apply the truth you have learned that day in that area.

Regular Church Attendance. Seek to be very faithful to your local church. Go to church with a heart prepared to listen, learn, and apply what you hear. Engage those people around you in the church. Seek to know their name, develop a relationship with them, and begin to grow alongside them. Get outside your comfort zone and seek to serve others rather than just attending a service for what you get out of it.

Article posted at:  https://kevincarson.com/2018/07/12/are-you-an-immature-christian/