5 Ways to Be a Godly Grandparent

Article by Avery Foley

You’ve done your job: you raised your kids and watched them leave the nest to start families of their own. It’s time to relax with, enjoy, and spoil the grandkids . . . right? Well, yes and no.

Grandchildren are called the “crown of the aged” (Proverbs 17:6), so we’re supposed to enjoy (and maybe even “spoil”) them. But Scripture doesn’t let grandparents, or even seniors without their own children or grandchildren, off the hook for impacting the next generation. In other words, you can’t sit down in the easy chair and think you’re all done.

There are many references throughout the Bible to the multi-generational impact that followers of Christ can and should have:

One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts. (Psalm 145:4)

Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children. (Deuteronomy 4:9)

They still bear fruit in old age;
they are ever full of sap and green, 
to declare that the Lord is upright;
he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him. (Psalm 92:14–15)

How Can We Leave a Godly Legacy for the Next Generation?

The Christian life is a race, and we’re called to run to the very end (Hebrews 12:1–3), not just to an arbitrary retirement age! God can use you to make an impact on the lives of those around you regardless of your age (young [1 Timothy 4:12] or old!). Of course, we will likely have the greatest impact on our own children and their children. For some people, this may not be the case due to estrangements or sinful attitudes, but most parents have an opportunity to still pour into the lives of their children and grandchildren long after those children have started their own lives outside your home.

Here are five ways you can be a godly grandparent and leave a legacy for the next generation:

1. Pray. Even if you no longer have contact with your children or if they are unbelievers who refuse you to have spiritual conversations with their children, you can still pray. Lift your children and grandchildren by name before the Lord on a daily basis. Here are some specific things to consider praying for:

   • Your child’s marriage. The institute of marriage is under attack, and that means the family is under attack. Pray for strong, healthy, godly marriages.

   • Parental wisdom. If you are a parent, you know it’s the hardest job a person can have. Pray that your child will have wisdom in how to raise their children in the admonition of the Lord. And pray they would have the wisdom to seek help and counsel when they need it.

   • Spiritual growth. Pray that your children and grandchildren would not stay where they are in their relationship with the Lord but that they would continue to grow. Pray your grandchildren will grow “in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man,” just like Jesus did (Luke 2:52).

2. Be present. Make an effort to be a part of and influence in the lives of your children and grandchildren. Obviously, this does not mean you should be overbearing, overly critical of your children’s decisions and parenting choices, or overstay your welcome when visiting (Proverbs 25:17). But it does mean you should be available and willing to take the lead in initiating time spent together.

   If you live near your children this is much easier. If you live far away, this may require that you plan trips, or it may require you to step outside your comfort zone and learn how to use new technology to connect with your grandchildren. Most of the time, your grandchildren will be happy to help you learn how to text, video chat, or even Snapchat them. If they are young or unable to help you from a distance, most local libraries—or just a teen at your church!—can show you how to use a smartphone or applications on your phone, tablet, or computer. Your grandchildren will appreciate that you took the initiative to connect with them.

3. Tell stories. Many grandchildren, and even children, know surprisingly little about the lives their grandparents or parents lived. You may not want to talk about yourself, or you may be much more interested in what’s going on with the grandkids, but tell them stories. Share about the good times, the funny times, and the hard times. Tell how God’s mercy and grace got you through hardships. Be open about struggles you’ve had and how God’s Word gave you the wisdom and answers you needed. Your wisdom can help your grandchildren know what you did right so they can emulate it. And it can highlight what you did wrong so they know what not to do!

4. Age with grace. Sadly, some grandparents become hurt, bitter, or self-centered. But this is not a time to allow sin nature to dictate what you do with your life and how you deal with your children and grandchildren. Give them an example of aging with grace.

   Proverbs tells us that grandchildren are the crown of the aged, but it also says, “And the glory of children is their fathers” (Proverbs 17:6). You can be the glory of your children by maintaining maturity and selflessness, even in your latter years.

5. Listen to your children. Many children feel they cannot approach their parents with requests regarding their children or plans. Be approachable. You have already made many sacrifices for your children, but that doesn’t mean you have “served your time” or that it’s time for payback. Yes, your children should be the first to honor you and to care for you if you need help, but being a godly grandparent means you should take the concerns, feelings, and even convenience of your children, particularly as they are busy caring for their own children, into consideration. Listen to your children and seek counsel from others, if necessary.

That the Next Generation Might Know

Being a grandparent is an exciting calling. Many a grandparent has said that if they knew grandchildren were so much fun, they’d have skipped the kids and gone straight to the grandkids! Have fun with your grandchildren. Build lifelong memories. Share wisdom. Serve the Lord alongside them, if possible. Listen when they are struggling. Be a shoulder to lean on. But, above all, be a godly example and influence, not afraid to speak up with God’s truth, even when it’s difficult.

Our goal should never be just to be liked by our grandchildren. It should be to share God’s works and goodness with them so that the next generation and the generation after may praise and glorify the name of the Lord God.

He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded to our fathers
To teach to their children,
that the next generation might know them, 
the children yet unborn,
And arise and tell them to their children, 
so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
but keep his commandments. (Psalm 78:5–7)

Posted at: https://answersingenesis.org/grandparents/five-ways-be-godly-grandparent/

Whatever is False, Whatever is Dishonorable, Whatever is Unjust....

Article by Tim Challies

What makes holy people holy? What makes unholy people unholy? To a large degree it is what fills their minds and their hearts. This is why the battle for holiness is first a battle to flood your mind and heart with the right things, the best things, and why it’s equally a battle to avoid flooding your mind and heart with the wrong things, the worst things. So let me ask you, when it comes to what you see, what you watch, what you read, what you ponder, what you enjoy, what you find entertaining, what fills your mind and thrills your heart—what is your standard? What do you invite into your mind, your heart, your life? What do you deliberately keep out? What is your standard? Here are three options, each a variation of Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brothers, whatever is false, whatever is dishonorable, whatever is unjust, whatever is perverse, whatever is repulsive, whatever is unworthy, if there is any imperfection, if there is anything unworthy of honor, think about these things—give weight and value to them, and allow them to influence the way you live. They will. They must.

Finally, brothers, whatever is reasonably accurate, whatever isn’t too outrageous, whatever is minimally unjust, whatever isn’t wildly impure, whatever isn’t absolutely vile, whatever doesn’t make you too uncomfortable, if there is anything that isn’t too far gone, if there is anything that’s not completely without virtue, think on these things—fill your mind with them, let them go down deep within, and live accordingly.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things—think about them until they fill your mind and heart and rejoice as they then work themselves out in loving behavior toward both God and man.

I ask again, what’s your standard?

Recently, at the death of Alec Motyer, a number of people wrote remembrances of the man and a common thread was his holiness. Perhaps Motyer was deeply impacted by these verses as he wrote his excellent commentary on them. As he wrote that commentary he recorded this challenge:

We are to meditate on, to prize as valuable, and to be influenced by all that is true, all that merits serious thought and encourages serious-mindedness, all that accords with justice and moral purity, all that is fragrant and lovely, all that brings with it a good word, that speaks well, whatever has genuine worth of any sort and merits praise. It is the will of God that by giving attention to things of which he approves we should shape our minds to be like his: to those who do so, he pledges his guardian peace and his own presence as the God of peace. (The Message of Philippians)

Motyer was preceded into glory by Jerry Bridges, another man who was spoken of with respect and honor for his holiness, for his desire to please God in all he did and said. Here is what he wrote in his great work, The Pursuit of Holiness:

As Christians we are no longer to be conformed to the pattern of this world but we are to be renewed in our minds (Romans 12:1-2; Ephesians 4:23; 1 Peter 1:14). Holiness begins in our minds and works out to our actions. This being true, what we allow to enter our minds is critically important. The television programs we watch, the movies we may attend, the books and magazines we read, the music we listen to, and the conversations we have all affect our minds. We need to evaluate the effects of these avenues honestly, using Philippians 4:8 as a standard. Are the thoughts stimulated by these various avenues true? Are they pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy?

So I ask one more time: What’s your standard?

Let me give the final word to Charles Simeon: “Think of their nature, that you may be apprised of their extent: think of their obligation, that you may be aware of their importance: think of their difficulty, that you may obtain help from your God: think of their excellency, that you may be stirred up to abound in them: and think of their complicated effects on the world around you, that you may make your light to shine before men, and that others, beholding it, may glorify your Father that is in heaven.” Think on these things!

Posted at: https://www.challies.com/articles/whatever-is-false-whatever-is-dishonorable-whatever-is-unjust%E2%80%A6/

Confessions of a Reluctant Complementarian

Rebecca McLaughlin

Editors’ note: 

A version of this article first appeared on the author’s blog.

I was an undergraduate at Cambridge University when I first grappled with Ephesians 5:22. I’d come from an academically driven, equality-oriented, single-sex high school. And I was repulsed. “Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord.” You’ve got to be kidding me.

I had three major problems with this verse.

The first was the premise that wives should submit. I knew women are just as competent as men—often more so. If there is wisdom in asymmetrical decision-making in marriage, I thought, surely it should depend on who was more competent in that area: sometimes the husband, sometimes the wife.

The second was the idea that wives should submit to their husbands “as to the Lord.” It’s one thing submitting to Jesus Christ, the self-sacrificing King of the universe. It’s quite another to submit to a fallible, sinful man—even as one thread in the fabric of a much greater submission to Christ.

The third—which perhaps grieved me most—was how harmful I believed this verse was to my gospel witness. I was offering my unbelieving friends a radical narrative of power inversion, in which the Creator God laid down his life, in which the poor out-class the rich, in which outcasts become family. The gospel is a consuming fire of love-across-difference with the power to burn up racial injustice and socioeconomic exploitation.

But here was this horrifying verse seeming to promote the subjugation of women. Jesus had elevated women to an equal status with men. Paul, it seemed to me, had pushed them back down. I worried this verse would ruin my witness.

Picture of Christ and the Church

In my frustration, I tried to explain Ephesians 5:22 away. In the Greek, the word translated “submit” appears in the previous verse, “Submit yourself to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21), so I tried to argue that the rest of the passage must be applying submission as much to husbands as wives. But this didn’t stick: the following verses lay out distinct roles for husbands and wives.

Then I turned my attention to the command to husbands. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25). How did Christ love the church? By dying on the cross; by giving himself, naked and bleeding, to suffer for her; by putting her needs above his own; by giving everything for her.

I asked myself how I would feel if this was the command to wives: Wives, love your husbands to the point of death, putting his needs above yours, and sacrificing yourself for him.

If the gospel is true, none of us comes to the table with rights. The only way in is flat on your face. If I want to hold on to my fundamental right to self-determination, I must reject the message of Jesus, because he calls me to submit completely to him: to deny myself and take up my cross and follow him (Luke 9:23).

Then, the penny really dropped. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church. This model isn’t ultimately about any individual wife and husband; it’s about Jesus and the church. God created sex and marriage to give us a glimpse of his intimacy with us.

Because our marriages point to a greater marriage, the roles are not interchangeable: Jesus gives himself for us; we submit to him.

Three Concerns

So, much to my surprise, the three problems I had when I first read Ephesians 5:22 were resolved. But I now have three concerns about how complementarian marriage is often taught.

1. Attempts to summarize

Complementarian marriage is often summarized as “Wives submit, husbands lead.” But this summary doesn’t reflect the biblical commands. Wives are indeed called to submit (Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18; 1 Pet. 3:1). But the primary call for husbands is love (Eph. 5:25, 28, 33; Col. 3:19), and the additional commands call for empathy and honor (1 Pet. 3:7). The command to wives in Ephesians certainly implies that husbands should lead with the sacrificial love of Christ. But if we must boil the Scriptures down, “Wives submit, husbands love” is a more accurate reflection of their weight.

2. Attempts at psychological grounding

Hoping to uphold the goodness of God’s commands, Christians sometimes try to ground complementarian marriage in gendered psychology: women are natural followers, men are natural leaders; men need respect, women need love; and so on. I’ve heard the claim that women are naturally more submissive, but I’ve never heard anyone argue that men are naturally more loving.

I’ve also heard people argue that we are given the commands because they address what we’re naturally bad at: women are good at love, men are good at respect, so the calls are reversed. But to say that human history teaches us that men naturally respect women is to stick your head in the sand with a blindfold on and earplugs for good measure.

At best, these claims about gender are generalizations, analogous to the claim that men are taller than women—though far less verifiable. At worst, they cause needless offense to a generation that already misunderstands and misrepresents what the Bible says about gender. They also invite exceptions: if these commands are given because wives are naturally more submissive, and I find I’m a more natural leader than my husband, does that mean we can switch roles?

If we look closely, however, we’ll see that these claims are nowhere to be found in the text. Ephesians 5 grounds our marital roles not in gendered psychology, but in Christ-centered theology.

3. Attempts to justify “traditional” gender roles

Ephesians 5 sticks like a burr in our 21st-century, Western ears. But we must not misread it as justifying “traditional” gender roles. The text doesn’t say the husband is the one whose needs come first and whose comfort is paramount.

In fact, Ephesians 5 is a withering critique of traditional gender roles, in its original context and today. In the drama of marriage, the wife’s needs come first, and the husband’s drive to prioritize himself is cut down with the axe of the gospel.

One Challenge

But my greatest concern when I hear Ephesians 5 taught is my failure to live up to it. I’ve been married for a decade, and it’s a daily challenge to remember what I’m called to in this gospel drama, and to notice opportunities to submit to my husband as to the Lord—not because I’m naturally more or less submissive, or because he is naturally more or less loving, but because Jesus submitted to the cross for me.

My marriage isn’t ultimately about me and my husband, any more than Romeo and Juliet is about the actors playing the title roles. My marriage is about reflecting Jesus and his church.

Ephesians 5:22 used to repulse me. Now it convicts me and calls me toward Jesus: the true husband who satisfies our needs, the one man who deserves our ultimate submission.

Rebecca McLaughlin holds a PhD from Cambridge University and a theology degree from Oak Hill seminary in London. She is a regular writer for The Gospel Coalition and her first book, Confronting Christianity: 12 Hard Questions for the World’s Largest Religion, will be published by Crossway in 2019. You can follow her on Twitter or at www.rebeccamclaughlin.org.

Posted at: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/confessions-reluctant-complementarian/

The Gospel Kind of Christ-Centeredness

Article by Jared Wilson

"Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—- unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance…"
- 1 Corinthians 15:1-3

To be gospel-centered is to be Christ-centered. But as it pertains to the pursuit of holiness and obedience to God's commands we may opt more often for the terminology "gospel-centered," because without more qualifications, "Christ-centered obedience" can be misconstrued to imply simply taking Jesus as a moral example.

Jesus is our moral example, of course, but the power for enduring, joyful obedience comes not from trying to be like him, but in first believing that he has become like us, that he has died in our place, risen as our resurrection, ascended for our intercession, and seated to signal the finished work of our salvation.

Christ-centeredness properly qualified is truer than true. But many unbelievers have accepted (some of) Jesus' teaching as the center of their self-salvation projects. Gospel-centeredness, however, tells us in shorter fashion what of Christ to center on: namely, his finished but eternally powerful atoning work.

So we ought to take care to emphasize in our exhortations to Christ-centeredness the gospel kind of Christ-centeredness.

"[T]he simple focus of my life is to be like Christ. That is why I must let the word about Christ dwell in me richly, as Colossians 3:16 says. That is why I must gaze at the glory of Christ, 2 Corinthians 3:18, so that I can be changed into his image. That is why Christ must be fully formed in me, Galatians 4:19. That is why if I say I abide in Him I must walk the way He walked, 1 John 2. I'm to be like Christ. This is the goal of my life.

"So the goal of my life as a Christian is outside of me, it is not in me, it is outside of me, it is beyond me. I am not preoccupied with myself, I am preoccupied with becoming like Christ. And that is something that only the Holy Spirit can do as I focus on Christ. I focus on Him and the Spirit transforms me into His image."

—John MacArthur, Fleeing From Enemies

Posted at: https://ftc.co/resource-library/blog-entries/the-gospel-kind-of-christ-centeredness

The High Calling of Bringing Order from Chaos

Article by Tim Challies

There are many things we do in this world that grow wearisome over the course of a lifetime. Near the top of the heap may just be the constant battle to bring order from chaos. This world and everything in it are constantly drifting toward chaos, maybe even full-out hurtling toward chaos. And a million times in a million ways we take little actions to hold it back, to restore just a modicum of order.

God knows all about order and chaos. Whatever God created in the very first moments of creation was “without form and void” (Genesis 1:2). We may not know all that is caught up in that little phrase, but it is clear that whatever was there was incomplete, unformed. As God began to move in his week of creation, he brought order from that initial disorder. He organized, he formed, he made, he filled. From that unformed substance emerged the beauty, the order, of this world. But it emerged only by his effort, his will, his handiwork.

Then God created people. God created people in his image and assigned them God-like work: They, too, were to bring order from chaos. God created man and placed him in the garden. “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it” (Genesis 2:15). Man was to serve God and to serve like God by tending this garden. This garden was beautiful and perfect, but it, too, needed handiwork. It was, after all, a garden. It was full of plants that would sprout and need to be tended, of hedges that would grow and need to be trimmed. God meant for his people to make this garden a place of obvious and visible order that would stand apart from the world outside the garden. And as man obeyed God’s instruction to spread out over the rest of the earth, he would extend this order outward, through the region, the continent, the world. This was man’s exercise of dominion, his work of subduing the earth and all that is in it.

This work of bringing order from chaos is dignified work. It is God-like work, God-assigned work.

This work of bringing order from chaos is dignified work. It is God-like work, God-assigned work. Victor Hamilton says it well: “The point is made clear here that physical labor is not a consequence of sin. Work enters the picture before sin does, and if man had never sinned he still would be working. Eden certainly is not a paradise in which man passes his time in idyllic and uninterrupted bliss with absolutely no demands on his daily schedule.” Man was created to work, to work within God’s good creation. And it is not only work that has dignity, but the specific work of bringing order from chaos, of bringing what is unformed into the state of being formed. That work would become even more important as sin entered the world and with it the consequences of sin—the thorns and thistles that would combat (literally) the work of the farmer and combat (figuratively) every other manner of work.

And even today, so much of the work we do in life is of this nature. So much of the work we do in our families, in our homes, in our churches, in our vocations, is the work of bringing order from chaos. And this is good work.

As parents we soon learn that our children come into this world in a state of utter chaos and anarchy, screaming when they want to eat, filling their diapers whenever and wherever they feel the urge. They grow into willful toddlers who want to rule the home, who want to exercise authority over their parents and siblings, who already show startling signs of rebellion against both God and man. Our task is to love them, to teach them, to discipline them, to urge them, to form them. We form them into people of order, of self-control, of self-respect, of selflessness, of godliness. Chaos gives way to order.

As church members we see the Lord save his people and they come into our churches with barely a shred of Christian character. They are addicted to sex or substances, they use their words to harm rather than help, they have only the smallest knowledge of God and his ways. So we disciple them, we teach, reprove, correct, and train them, we display Christ-like love to them, and eventually, inevitably, we see chaos replaced by order. We do this again and again as God saves more and more of his people. Chaos is chased away by order.

As people working in our vocations we do this same kind of work. We sweep and wax the hallways for the thousandth time, we edit the messy manuscripts, we train more inert people to drop 20 pounds and run 5 kilometers, we write traffic tickets for the people who insist on parking in fire lanes, we teach another class of ignorant students, we weed another bed of flowers. It goes on and on, day after day and year after year. But all the while it goes from chaos to order.

And then there are our homes, our homes which in mid-afternoon are clean and orderly and by early evening are little short of a disaster area. We take little actions and big ones: We sweep the floors, we empty the sink to fill the dishwasher, we replace empty lunch bags with full ones, we replenish the toilet paper, we shovel the toys back into their bins and boxes. Messiness departs and order arrives for another day or another hour.

This is so much of our work as long as we are here—the work of bringing order from the chaos that is always so close at hand. This work is good. It may be frustrating, repetitive, endless. But it is good. This work is good enough for God and good enough for God to assign to the very crown of his creation. It is certainly good enough for the likes of you and me.

Article posted at:  https://www.challies.com/articles/the-high-calling-of-bringing-order-from-chaos/

How to Find Strength in the Strength of God

Article by John Piper Founder & Teacher, desiringGod.org

How do you do a task in the strength of another? How do you exert your will to do something in such a way that you are relying on the will of another to make it happen?

Here are some passages from the Bible that press this question on us:

• “By the Spirit . . . put to death the deeds of the body” (Romans 8:13). So, we are to do the sin-killing, but we are to do it by the Spirit. How?

• “Work out your own salvation . . . for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:12–13). We are to work. But the willing and the working is God’s willing and God’sworking. How do we experience that?

• “I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me” (1 Corinthians 15:10). Paul did work hard. But his effort was in some way not his. How did he do that?

• “I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me” (Colossians 1:29). We toil. We struggle. We expend effort and energy. But there is a way to do it so that it is God’s energy and God’s doing. How do we do that?

• “Whoever serves, [let him serve] as one who serves by the strength that God supplies” (1 Peter 4:11). We serve. We exert strength. But there is a way that our serving is the effect of God’s gracious power. What is that way?

Introducing A.P.T.A.T.

In 1983 I gave my answer in a sermon, and to this day I have not been able to improve on these five steps summed up in the acronym A.P.T.A.T. (rhymes with Cap That).

In 1984 J.I. Packer published Keep in Step with the Spirit, and gave the very same steps on pages 125–126. He calls it “Augustinian holiness teaching.” It calls for “intense activity” but this activity “is not in the least self-reliant in spirit.” Instead, he says, “It follows this four-stage sequence”:

First, as one who wants to do all the good you can, you observe what tasks, opportunities, and responsibilities face you. Second, you pray for help in these, acknowledging that without Christ you can do nothing—nothing fruitful, that is (John 15:5). Third, you go to work with a good will and a high heart, expecting to be helped as you asked to be. Fourth, you thank God for help given, ask pardon for your own failures en route, and request more help for the next task. Augustinian holiness is hard working holiness, based on endless repetitions of this sequence.

My five steps omit his first one (“note what tasks are in front of you”). I divide his second step into two: A. Admit (his word, “acknowledge”) that you can do nothing. P. Pray for God’s help for the task at hand. Then, I break his third step into two. He says “expect to get the help you asked for.” Then, with that expectation, “go to work with a good will.” I say, T. Trust a particular promise of God’s help. Then, in that faith, A. Act. Finally, we both say, T. Thank God for the help received.

A. Admit
P. Pray
T. Trust
A. Act
T. Thank

Trust God’s Promises

I think the middle T is all important. Trust a promise. This is the step I think is missing in most Christians’ attempt to live the Christian life. It is certainly my most common mistake.

“We don’t just pray for help hour by hour; we trust specific promises hour by hour.”

Most of us face a difficult task and remember to say, “Help me, God. I need you.” But then, we move straight from P to A — Pray to Act. We pray and then we act. But this robs us of a very powerful step.

After we pray for God’s help, we should remind ourselves of a specific promise that God has made. And fix our minds on it. And put our faith in it. And say to God, “I believe you; help my unbelief. Increase my faith in this promise. I’m trusting you, Lord. Here I go.” Then act.

Paul says we “walk by faith” (2 Corinthians 5:7) and “live by faith” (Galatians 2:20). But for most of us, this remains vague. Hour by hour how do we do this? We do it by reminding ourselves of specific, concrete promises that God has made and Jesus has bought with his blood (2 Corinthians 1:20). Then, we don’t just pray for help hour by hour; we trust those specific promises hour by hour.

When Peter says, “Whoever serves, [let him serve] as one who serves by the strength that God supplies” (1 Peter 4:11), we do this not only by praying for that supply, but by trusting in the promise of the supply in specific situations. Paul says that God supplies the Spirit to you “by hearing with faith” (Galatians 3:5). That is, we hear a promise and we believe it for a particular need, and the Holy Spirit comes to help us through that believed promise.

10 Promises to Memorize

So, here is my suggestion for how to do this. Memorize a few promises that are so universally applicable, they will serve you in almost every situation where you face a task to be done “by the strength that God supplies.” Then, as those tasks come, admit you can’t do that on your own. Pray for the help you need. Then, call to mind one of your memorized promises, and trust it — put your faith in it. Then, act — believing that God is acting in your acting! Finally, when you are done, thank him.

“Act — believing that God is acting in your acting!”

Here are ten such promises to help you get started. Of these, the one I have used most often is Isaiah 41:10.

1. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

2. “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)

3. “God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)

4. “‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’” (Hebrews 13:5–6)

5. “The Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” (Psalms 84:11)

6. “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32)

7. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.” (Psalms 23:6)

8. “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

9. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

10. “Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” (Psalms 50:15)

Never cease to ponder Paul’s words, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). Not I. Yet I. By faith.

John Piper (@JohnPiper) is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books, including Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist, and most recently Expository Exultation: Christian Preaching as Worship.

The Ultimate X-Ray

Article by Paul David Tripp

Have you ever had the painful experience of breaking a bone? Perhaps even more distressing is having to watch a young child break a bone.

As somewhat educated human beings, we’re able to understand why our bodies ache and what the doctors are trying to accomplish. Even if we don’t have a medical degree, we have a foundational awareness of the healing process.

For a young child, however, the physical pain might compound itself with the pain of confusion and unfamiliarity. “Why does my body feel this way? How long will this pain last? What is this machine they’re putting me through? Why are they putting a hard cast on my body?”

In the same way, many of us struggle with confusion and unfamiliarity when we experience spiritual pain. Regardless of age or length of time walking with the Lord, recognizing, accepting, and then rejoicing over uncomfortable, violent grace is unnatural.

What is uncomfortable, violent grace? David writes about it in Psalm 51:8 - “Let the bones that you have broken rejoice.” It’s a curious phrase. Crushed bones and rejoicing don’t seem to go together. We surely don’t celebrate when we break our bodies.

But David is using the agony of broken bones as a metaphor for the anguish of heart he feels when he sees his sin for what it is. That uncomfortable, violent pain is a good thing.

The physical ache of an actual broken bone is worth being thankful for because it’s a warning sign something is wrong in that arm or leg. In the same way, God’s loving hammer of conviction is meant to break your heart, and the pain of heart you feel is intended to alert you to the fact that something is spiritually wrong inside you. Like the warning signal of physical pain, the rescuing and restoring pain of convicting grace is a thing worth celebrating.

We all have a stubborn capacity to be comfortable with what God says is wrong, so God blesses us with uncomfortable, violent grace. Yes, he loves us enough to crush us, so that we would feel the pain of our sin and run to him for forgiveness and deliverance.

Just like young children need to be taught about the anatomy of their body, the role of a doctor, and the purpose of an X-ray when they have broken a bone, we would do well to remind ourselves of the theology of uncomfortable, violent grace.

Our relationship with the Lord is never anything other than a relationship of grace. It’s grace that brought us into his family, it’s grace that keeps us in it, and it’s grace that will continue us in it forever.

But the grace God lavishes is not always comfortable.

God’s grace isn’t always comfortable because he isn’t primarily working on our comfort; he’s working on our character. With loving violence, he will crush us because he loves us and is committed to our restoration, deliverance, and refinement.

That’s something worth celebrating.

God bless

Paul David Tripp

Reflection Questions

1. Are you allowing yourself to grow comfortable with something that God says is wrong? What justifications are you making in your heart or mind to permit yourself to be okay with that sin?
2. What evidence can you find - both in the Bible and from everyday life - to remind yourself that staying inside God’s wise boundaries is the safest place to be?
3. Is there a place in your life where you have been tempted to doubt God’s love because you are experiencing the pain of his rescuing and restoring grace? Why should you thank him for uncomfortable, violent grace?
4. How can you lovingly and graciously remind others of God’s uncomfortable, violent grace that rescues us from us?

Article posted at pauldavidtripp.com

How to Ruin Your Life in Your Twenties

Article by Jonathan Pokluda, Pastor, Dallas, Texas

No one ever plans to ruin his life. Nobody makes failure a goal, or a New Year’s resolution, or an integral part of his five-year plan. Kids don’t dream about growing up to be an alcoholic; students don’t go to class to learn how to be bankrupt; brides and grooms don’t go to the altar expecting their marriage to fail.

But ruined lives do happen — far too often. And they happen because of the choices we make. Many of our most influential choices take place when we are relatively young — old enough to be making important decisions, but young enough for those decisions to have disastrous consequences. In other words, these are choices of young adults.

How can we avoid making such mistakes? We can start by listening to God’s wisdom through King Solomon. Although Solomon faced major challenges later in his life because he stopped taking his own advice, he was one of the wisest men who ever lived, and God has preserved some of his best counsel in the book of Proverbs.

Below are seven ways you can ruin your life while still in your twenties — based on the opposite of Solomon’s counsel — along with a resolution for what to do instead.

1. Do whatever you want.

This was the biggest lie I believed in my twenties. I thought I could do what I wanted and get away with it. I thought, I’m young, and I’m not hurting anyone. But I’ve since learned otherwise.

Right now, you are in the process of becoming what you will be one day. You are preparing either to be a great spouse, parent, employee, and friend, or to be the opposite of that. Everything you do now will lead you down one of those paths.

The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. (Proverbs 14:15)

Resolution: Do what God would have you do.

2. Live outside your means.

I live in the city that practically invented the term $30k millionaire. But when you spend more than you can afford, you still have to pay for it — plus interest. By living “the good life” now, you ensure you’ll be living the bad life of debt payments, downsizing, and financial worries in your future decades. Many people today are still paying for experiences that happened many years ago, long after the “instant gratification” has been forgotten.

Resolution: Live below your means.

3. Feed an addiction.

Whether it is alcohol, money, drugs, pornography, shopping, or another attraction, most people have an addiction of some kind. These addictions bring death: either literal death, or death to relationships, freedom, and joy.

How do addictions happen? You feed them. When you feed something, it grows. The more you feed an addiction, the stronger it grows, and the harder it is to stop. Wisdom is stopping now, not later. It only gets harder and harder after each “one last time.”

The righteousness of the upright delivers them, but the treacherous are taken captive by their lust. (Proverbs 11:6)

Resolution: Starve your addictions.

4. Run with fools.

Fact: you are becoming, in some real sense, who you hang around. It’s been said you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. You do what they do (because you’re doing it together), you pick up on their ideas and beliefs, and you even learn their mannerisms and language.

So, if you hang around fools, you will become one. But if you hang around wise people, who are committed to following Christ and to making a difference with their lives, then you’ll become wise.

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (Proverbs 13:20)

Resolution: Walk with the wise.

5. Believe this life is all about you.

You are one of nearly 7.6 billion people alive currently, and though you arespecial, so is each of the other 7,600,000,000 people in the world — and the billions and billions who have come before but are now long dead and forgotten. You are not the star of this show. You have a cameo that very few people will see and that will be forgotten as soon as the screen changes.

People who become the biggest reality in their world are dysfunctional. They always end up either disappointed or delusional. And when they leave this life, their world disappears; they don’t actually leave any deep impact. If you want to be important and make a difference, live for God and serve others with your life. Jesus was our greatest example of this. He served us by willingly dying for our sins on the cross. The most powerful person who has ever lived used his power to serve (Mark 10:45; Philippians 2:5–8). And by dying, he rescued us from sin and bought the power we need to serve others with our life.

People who become the biggest reality in their world are dysfunctional. They always end up either disappointed or delusional. And when they leave this life, their world disappears; they don’t actually leave any deep impact. If you want to be important and make a difference, live for God.

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)

Resolution: Serve others with your life.

6. Live for immediate gratification.

Almost nothing truly worthwhile comes quickly. It takes time and discipline to become an Olympic athlete (or to simply get in shape), to get a degree, to become a CPA, or to become a good husband or wife. And many of the things you truly want long term can be derailed by indulging yourself in the moment. Do you want an amazing marriage, or just one amazing night? Do you want to retire in 36 years, or drive a luxury car for the next 36 months? In each case, choosing the latter makes it more difficult (or impossible) to have the former.

Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man’s dwelling, but a foolish man devours it. (Proverbs 21:20)

Resolution: Hold out for God’s best.

7. Avoid accountability.

We all have the tendency to screw up, or be blind to our own failings, or convince ourselves that we can change on our own, even though it’s never worked in the past. That’s why God created us to live in community with others: so we can encourage each other, point out blind spots, and have help in times of weakness.

Are you running to community and accountability, or running away from it? The reason people avoid accountability is that they don’t want to be corrected, even though that means they will continue to do what is ruining their life. If you really want to change, and really want to put God first every day, then do one simple thing as a first step: find Christ-centered community.

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. (Proverbs 12:1)

Resolution: Do not do any of this alone.

Who You Become Tomorrow

People don’t resolve to ruin their lives. We hope to be great employees or business owners. We hope to be great moms, dads, husbands, or wives. We hope to be successful and contribute to society. We hope to be faithful in our walk with Jesus. But all faithful walks start with small faithful steps. Great mature adults are created through the faithfulness of young adults.

You are becoming something, and the resolutions you make and keep today will shape who you become tomorrow. Who do you want to be when you grow up? You will be that person much sooner than you think. What are you doing to become him today?

Jonathan Pokluda is the leader of The Porch, one of the teaching pastors at Watermark Community Church, and the author of the book Welcome to Adulting. He and his wife, Monica, live with their three children in Dallas.

Article posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/how-to-ruin-your-life-in-your-twenties

Jesus is the Smartest Man Who Ever Lived

Article by Jared C. Wilson 

I continue to be amazed by the number of evangelicals who continue to insist that "moral values" have no place in considering how we engage in the political process. An acquaintance on Facebook, a Christian man constantly conerned about the downward slide of morality in our culture, also recently posted, without a trace of irony, that all that matters from the presidency is if he can foster a solid US economy -- anything related to character was not really pertinent. 

Aside from the fact that I don't believe these brothers and sisters really believe that—at least, not when applied to those on the other side—it's still an incredibly distressing and frustrating thing to hear. But it should be no surprise given the rate at which American evangelicals have learned to compartmentalize their "personal faith" from their vocations and public life while at the same time engaging a syncretism of their worship of God with their other objects of worship. (I talk a little more about this here.)

But we also see the effect of this compartmentalization in the way evangelicals have come to mimic the snarky "street smarts" of the conservative pundits on TV and the web, not all of them believers themselves. Greedy, lustful, predatory businessmen gain our support because "that's just the way the world works." "You've got to pick your poison." "The world isn't black and white." "What other choice do we have than picking the lesser of two evils?" Et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum.

Well, I call shenanigans on all that. The space-time economy of the kingdom of God is the way the world really is -- at least, it is the way the world is really meant to work under God's sovereignty, and Christians are not at liberty to pretend their true citizenship is not there when the ways of the kingdom don't seem immediately practical, convenient, gratifying, or otherwise successful. We are called to walk by faith, not by sight. And this means that Christians—assuming they really have received reborn hearts, transformed minds, and crucified flesh—trust that Jesus knows best about the way the world "really is."

Jesus was the smartest man who ever lived. We have to get that through our thick skulls if we want to make a hill of beans difference for the kingdom in this world. So often we think of Jesus as spiritual in a way disconnected from reality. Jesus is religiously idealistic, we reason, but not (as they say) “street smart.” Jesus knows how things ought to be, but he’s not so incisive on how things really are. Jesus is a good teacher, but in the popular imagination pretty much a naïve one. Dallas Willard explains:

The world has succeeded in opposing intelligence to goodness . . . And today any attempt to combine spirituality or moral purity with great intelligence causes widespread pangs of “cognitive dissonance.” Mother Teresa, no more than Jesus, is thought of as smart—nice, of course, but not really smart. “Smart” means good at managing how life “really” is . .  (The Divine Conspiracy. HarperCollins, 1998, p.135)

The reality is that Jesus knows exactly how things really are, and in fact knows how things really are better than anybody else. We may look over the ethos of the Sermon on the Mount and find the whole thing utterly impractical toward getting ahead in the world—or even toward winning elections—but one of the underlying points of the Sermon is that getting ahead in the world is a losing gambit to begin with. We come to Jesus’s teaching looking for tips on playing checkers, when all along he is playing chess.

There is good reason for this. As God, Jesus is omniscient. He knows everything. In Mark 1:22 we read, “And they were astonished at his teaching, for he taught them as one who had authority, and not as the scribes.” The sort of authority Jesus is wowing them with here is not the kind simply accumulated through years of study. Jesus taught with the kind of authority that suggested he had mastered the material, that he was in fact the material world’s very master. His authority comes not from education but from authorship. “He told me all that I ever did,” the Samaritan woman declares (John 4:39). Yes, sister, because he foreknew it all, declared it all, and saw it all.

It makes total sense, then—real, actual, logical sense—to believe Jesus. He is no fool who believes the man who knows everything. And he is no fool who refrains from worldly wisdom even when other Christians cannot see the advantage of it.

Jared C. Wilson is the Director of Content Strategy for Midwestern Seminary, managing editor of For The Church, and author of more than ten books, including Gospel Wakefulness, The Pastor’s Justification, and The Prodigal Church. You can follow him on Twitter.

Article posted at: https://ftc.co/resource-library/blog-entries/jesus-is-the-smartest-man-who-ever-lived

Jesus Can Redeem Your Parenting (Yes, Even Yours)

Article by David McLemore   

You can’t make your children Christians, but you can make it easy to love Jesus in your home. You can seek to make your home ring with gospel joy. You can endeavor to make your family not only a family of Christians but a Christian family—sold out for Christ and his cause.

God has more for us than the hum-drum life of work, rest, and entertainment. He has more for your children than extra-curricular activities, college scholarships, and good jobs. He has the storehouses of grace and glory for your family.

Our problem is, as C.S. Lewis famously said, “we are far too easily pleased.” We settle for mud pies when a holiday at sea is ours for the taking.

As Christians and as parents, we should not settle for the goal of simply raising obedient Church-goers. Rather we should strive to meet a higher standard of parenting – one that invites our children to lives of sacrificial obedience to Christ.

DO NOT PROVOKE

In Ephesians 6:4, God calls parents to disciple their children: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Though Paul uses the word “fathers” here, this command applies to both fathers and mothers.

In Paul’s day, the children were under the father’s complete control. He could have them killed or sold into slavery. No law stood in his way. It’s easy to see in that kind of culture how a child would be provoked to anger. Who wouldn’t be provoked living in an unjust home?

But Christ came to bring justice. He came to set things right.

That’s why Paul begins with a negative command, “Do not provoke your children to anger.”

Though we may not live as first-century Christians did, this is still a frightening statement because it is saying that there is a possibility for a parent to create in their children a settled anger and resentment that could last for a very long time.

Of course there will be times when a child gets angry. Who doesn’t get angry? But there’s a difference between intermittent anger and deep, abiding anger as a result of your upbringing.

How does that happen?

On the one hand, parents can be too hard. They can give unnecessary commands, be too heavy-handed, or just down-right mean. They can be easily frustrated and lash out at small wrongdoings. They don’t care about discipling and training the child. They just want the child to fall in line.

King Saul was like that. In 1 Samuel 20, Saul noticed David wasn’t at dinner as he should have been. He asked his son Jonathan where David was. Now, Jonathan knew Saul was mad at David, wanting to kill him, so he helped David avoid the dinner. Jonathan was doing the right thing, but Saul didn’t care. He wanted him to fall in line. Saul said to his son, “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman.” Saul went on to command David be brought before him so he could be killed. When Jonathan asked what David had done, Saul thrust his spear at him. So Jonathan rose from the table in fierce anger. And rightly so.

That’s a parent who is too hard and too mean. But it’s also possible for a parent to be too soft. For example, in Genesis 37, we see the failures of Jacob as a father. What was Jacob’s failure? He was too soft on his son Joseph. He favored him above the others, and it led to the anger of his other sons. Eventually, they sold Joseph into slavery.

The point is, it’s easy to provoke our children to anger. We don’t have to be evil like King Saul. We can be a kind father like Jacob and do just as much damage.

When we fail to treat our children as a stewardship from the Lord and instead view them as servants for our agenda or necessities for our emotional state, we provoke either them or our other children to anger.

A STEWARDSHIP FROM GOD

A Christian parent doesn’t see their children as either an annoyance or an emotional crutch. Rather they understand their children to be a stewardship from the Lord, for his sake, and seek to bring up their kids in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

That last phrase is so important. Most parents will raise their children with discipline and instruction. But a Christian parent notices those last three words, “of the Lord.”

It’s not our discipline and instruction that matters. It’s Christ’s. It’s our duty to help our children to follow Jesus—not to follow us.

This means parents must be aware of the rhythms of their family life. How is your week structured? How much of a priority is Jesus in your family life? Is church a checklist item on Sunday morning or is it an anticipation on Saturday night? Is youth group dependent on the children’s sports practice or it is the reason you have to call the coach to explain their absence?

Your rhythms of family life will either prove or disprove the reality of God.

If you never pray or read the Bible in front of or with your kids, if you never talk about Jesus in any regular, open way, if you never invite others into your home for the sake of the gospel, if you never serve Jesus together as a family, if you never ask your kids about who they think Jesus is, if you’re just thankful you’re a Christian and going to heaven but your Christianity hasn’t made an impact on the way you raise your kids, then you haven’t yet realized the glory your family is missing with Christ.

It’s all too easy to just let life come at us, but a Christian parent loves God by helping their children follow Jesus. A Christian parent is active, treating their children as a stewardship from the Lord. Like Jesus, a Christian parent pursues.

You can’t save your children, but you can point them to the Savior. You can make the Savior real in your home.

JESUS REDEEMS OUR PARENTING

Some parents need to consider the command of Ephesians 6:4 with a new openness. Some haven’t parented according to their calling. So what’s the path forward?

Here’s a question that redefines everything in the Christian life, including parenting. It’s a question I’ve brought to bear in my own life in several areas recently.

Do I believe that Jesus is a Redeemer?

I respect him as King—one who watches over me. I listen to him as Prophet—one who speaks with power. But do I trust him as Redeemer—one who makes all things new?

When we trust him that way, we stop quenching the Spirit, and he starts working in our lives. Jesus can change the story of your family and my family, starting today. And he’s asking us, “Will you let me?”

That Jesus is a Redeemer means no parent, no matter their failures, is too far from his grace when it comes to discipling their children. You may think, “But our family is a mess.”

But aren’t we all?

By God’s grace, our path forward is as simple as turning to God. All you must do is say to Christ, “I’m your mess.” And he’ll come in and clean it up. That’s what a redeemer does: turns messes into miracles. And as your children see you turn to the Redeemer, they’ll learn what it means to follow Jesus. They’ll see that he’s a real Savior, and they’ll taste the grace he gives as your family begins to draw life from his mercy.

No one is the perfect parent, but if we’re waiting for perfection or nothing, we’ll get nothing every time.

Let’s trust Christ and say yes to the next right thing.

The triune God is at work in our lives to bring redemption. And in the Trinity, we have the Son who loves and honors the Father perfectly, the Father who never provokes to anger and knows how to discipline and instruct, and the Spirit who sustains it all.

The whole God is invested in the whole you. Our part is simply to trust him and not limit what he can do in us and in our families. 

David McLemore is the Director of Teaching Ministries at Refuge Church in Franklin, Tennessee. He also works for a large healthcare corporation where he manages an application development department. He is married to Sarah, and they have three sons. Read more of David’s writing on his blog, Things of the Sort.

Article posted at: http://gcdiscipleship.com/2018/08/07/jesus-can-redeem-your-parenting-yes-even-yours/