Five Signs Your Brother Needs Your Help

Dan DeWitt

Most vehicles have a number of warning signs to alert you to potential problems. I remember my old college car that had a “check engine” light that I learned to blissfully ignore all the way until the engine locked up while driving down the interstate. Similarly, my current vehicle has a service light that comes on when I need an oil change. I sometimes ignore that for a couple weeks as well.

We can be pretty good at ignoring the safety alarms in our spiritual lives as well—and the flashing lights in the lives of others around us. The truth is, we all need help from time to time. No one is so strong that they never falter. But how can you tell if your Christian brother is stuck in a rut and needs your help to get out? Here’s five warning signs you can look for:

First, is he present? This is rather obvious, but shouldn’t be ignored. Is he showing up to worship, to Bible study, to gatherings of other Christians? If he isn’t, don’t assume he is okay (Hebrews 10:25).

Second, is he participating? Maybe he is present but not active. Does there seem to be a marked difference in his involvement? Does he seem distant? Is he quiet in Bible study in a way that is uncharacteristic? (1 Corinthians 12:15-26).

Third, does he seem to be pursuing things of the Lord? Sometimes we can be actively involved in a faith community but not seeking to grow. Does he talk about reading God’s Word, or trying to better obey a command, or confess areas of weakness? Maybe he’s been open to things like that before but now seems reluctant to go there. (Psalm 119).

May God help us all to walk together, out of our ruts, away from our sin, and forward in the path he has set before us

Fourth, does his passion for God seem to have cooled? Jesus said that the greatest command is to love him with all of our heart, mind, strength, and soul. That should make us stop and think. Our love for God is a monumental priority.  Not only should we make this our priority for ourselves, but it should be a priority for how we care for each other and help each other grow (Revelation 2:4).

Finally, do you see progress in his life? Maybe he isn’t skipping out on fellowship and accountability, but it seems like is happy to press the cruise button in his spiritual life. He might be stuck in a rut (2 Peter 1:5).

But before any of us runs off to analyze a Christian brother – let’s consider our own lives. We might need to remove the plank in our own eye before assessing the splinter in theirs (Matthew 7:5).  The Apostle Paul’s warning is a great place to begin as we consider talking to a fellow believer about their spiritual growth:

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” (Galatians 6:1-5, NIV)

Maybe your brother needs your help. Maybe you need your brother’s help. May God help us all to walk together, out of our ruts, away from our sin, and forward in the path he has set before us (Hebrews 12:1-2).

That’s precisely why I wrote Sunny Side Up. The Apostle Peter messed up pretty badly when he denied Jesus three times. But our Lord graciously gave him the chance to make amends over a breakfast conversation in John 21.  Jesus called Peter to enjoy a life of all-out commitment to Christ. He calls us to the same thing. And that’s what Sunny Side Up is about—for flawed guys like me to catch the vision and the joy of living all out for Christ. 

Posted at: https://www.thegoodbook.co.uk/blog/interestingthoughts/2019/02/05/five-signs-your-brother-needs-your-help/?fbclid=IwAR1kyrw0G-Eadw_sxSDy-OL0LXkczMK3Qu3GZkVC-lzzgwW1pBnRFYzdysE

Humility: God’s response to irritating people.

Article by Jay Younts

How many people do you think of as being less significant than yourself? 

Sounds a kind of arrogant, doesn’t it? 

Okay, how about this? Are you irritated by people who don’t do things as you think they should be done? Or are you often irritated at how self-centered other people are? Do you feel “put out” with people close to you more that you feel drawn to serve them? These are indications of self-importance. Not a pleasant thought!  

Being irritated with people leads to anger. That anger may lead to bitterness and cynicism. This produces the sin you didn’t see coming: self-righteousness. When you become consumed with irritation toward other people, you become self-deceived and self-righteous.  The sin of self-righteousness is almost always accompanied by self-deception. We may become so focused on being irritated by others that we are blind to the logs of sin blocking our own vision. When you are dominated by being irritated at people, you fall prey to self-righteousness.

Irritation is a gateway sin that, among other things, leads to stress that can lead to poor health. Really? How does this happen? As you will see as you continue reading, being irritated at others is being wise in your own eyes. It is self-importance, the opposite of humility. Proverbs 3 teaches that being wise in your eyes has a negative impact on your body and can bring ill health. Irritation will cause you to lose more than patience! Your body is not made to coexist with irritation. 

The Holy Spirit has a radically different way for you to respond to irritating people: humility! He wants you to consider these people as being more important than you are. He commands you to have the same attitude as Christ when interacting with irritating people. Listen to what the Holy Spirit says:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.  Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus…” (Philippians 2:3-5)

If Christ responded to us the way we respond to irritating people, we would have no hope! If your goal is to pursue the attitude of Christ, then you will not be dominated with irritation at the actions of those around you. Instead, your first thoughts will be about how you can serve, rather than about being irritated. Christ is the exact picture of humility. He laid aside his own well-being to honor the will of his father and serve you and me!

Service and self-importance do not mix. Truly serving irritating people consists of humility and honor for God. Thinking well of yourself will hinder you from thinking well of God.

Irritating people are opportunities from God to focus on serving him as you look for how to serve rather than being annoyed.

Yes, it is true. People can be annoying or irritating! That is what sin does. Don’t be poisoned by irritation. Find ways to honor God by considering those irritating people as more important that yourself. 

Don’t misunderstand! The Holy Spirit is not telling you to become the servant of those who are irritating. He calling you to become God’s servant so that you can clearly see how to honor Christ and show the grace of the gospel to them. He is calling you to humility!

Posted at: https://www.shepherdpress.com/humility-gods-response-to-irritating-people/?fbclid=IwAR1_NnZU9PLDumFH5DrDi8NfizlQoYxttuw3DdxhHwcsl-cPW9ck7MqVVd0

How to Evangelize Friends Identifying as LGBTQ+

Article by Rosaria Butterfield

What if your daughter, raised in a Christian home, returns from college radicalized by the LGBTQ community? What if she comes out as pansexual and tells you in no uncertain terms that it is her way or the highway? What if you discover that your most obedient and faithful daughter, the one you never had to worry about with boys or drugs or reckless bad-choice making, has been struggling with same-sex attraction since she was 12?

It is deeply frightening when a child you have loved and raised and prayed for daily leaves the faith, and with it, God’s protection. It can feel shameful to admit to others in your church that you are torn between your faith and your child—that you fear losing one for the other.

It may feel unsafe to ask for help from your elders and pastors with matters that isolate you and set you apart from others in painful ways. You may feel jealous or angry or deeply depressed that while your peers in the church are planning biblical weddings for believing children, you are wrestling with whether to attend the gay wedding of your prodigal.

If these are your feelings and concerns, take heart. The Lord is near.

Or perhaps you feel the weight of others in your church who struggle with same-sex attraction and are faithful members of your church, forsaking sin and living in chastity, but still feeling torn between the culture of the church and the culture of the world.

If you are struggling with same-sex attraction in God’s way—forsaking sin, drinking deeply of the means of grace—then you are a hero of the faith. Nothing less.

You may feel as if all your Christian friends do is make straw arguments against homosexuality—declaring it a choice and a bad choice, and demanding that real believers won’t struggle with that struggle. You may be sick and tired of hearing “arguments against” something and are hungering for the Jesus who argues for people, and who beckons and promises comfort for bruised reeds.

Or perhaps you are someone who also struggles with same-sex attraction. You are silent, though, and the hateful things people in your church say make you more silent every day. Your shame may be increasing as you are saying to yourself: If they only knew how I feel and how I struggle, they would kick me out for good. You may wonder if you will ever hear these words of Jesus in real time: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28–30).

This is a painful reality for so many sisters in the church. If you are someone struggling with same-sex attraction in God’s way—forsaking sin, drinking deeply of the means of grace—then you are a hero of the faith. Nothing less.

If this is your burden, then the Bible has the answer for it: the practice of daily, ordinary, radical hospitality.

Daily Hospitality for Sexual Strugglers

Where should you start? As a church community, designate a house where members live and where people can gather daily. Yes, I said daily. And then start gathering daily. And not by invitation only.

Make it a place where the day closes with a meal for all, and with Bible reading and prayer, and where unbelievers are invited to hear the words of grace and salvation, where children of all ages are welcome, and where unbelievers and believers break bread and ideas shoulder to shoulder.

This is the best way that I know of to evangelize your LGBTQ neighbors—and everyone else. To live communally as Bible-believing Christians who care for each other in body and soul. To live openly, such that you know each other well enough to know each other’s sin patterns and temptations. To be a community where everyone is repenting of something all the time. To be a community where Christ could come, eat, wash his feet, and lay down his head. To be a community where hard conversations are had over warm soup and fresh bread.

You see, two hours on a Sunday morning and two hours at a small group on Tuesday night is not enough. God so loves you that he wants you to live 24/7 as a Christ follower, doing the will of God from the heart and the home.

Maybe this seems pie-in-the-sky crazy. Maybe it is.

But this is the kind of house in which I first saw the gospel lived and loved.

And, by God’s grace, this is the kind of house in which I now live.

The best way to evangelize your LGBTQ neighbors is to get upstream of the culture war—and to stay there. And practicing daily, ordinary, radical hospitality is the way to do that.

Real Friendships for Real Needs

In a culture of biblical hospitality, we develop real friendships.

We talk about our differences as grown-ups who can understand each other’s point of view even if we don’t share it. We understand why people who cannot have eternal peace are driven to accumulate rights and privileges to compensate. We know that the accumulation of rights and privileges causes great anxiety within the LGBTQ community, especially when you are winning.

The potential blow of losing that which you have is far greater than never having something. Without the gospel’s checks and balances on the things of this world, you are awash in anxiety in a nanosecond.

When we meet a neighbor who identifies within the spectrum of LGBTQ life and identity, we do not presume she is sexually active. She may be, but celibacy is high in the lesbian community. So we commit ourselves to listening, and to treating each person we meet as an individual.

We understand that sins of identity run deep and hard.

Christ Loves Best

How do we evangelize our LGBTQ neighbors? We remind our neighbors that only the love of Christ is seamless. Not so for our spouses or partners. Only Christ loves us best: he took on all our sin, died in our place bearing God’s wrath, and rose victorious from the dead.

And yes, Christ calls us to be citizens of a new world, under his lordship, under his protection, under his law. Original sin explains why some struggle with same-sex attraction and have from the day they remember being attracted to anything. We know that we were all born in original sin and that this imprints our deepest desires. As we grow in Christ, we gain victory over acting on our sin, but our sinful desires do not go away until glory.

And we stand in the risen Christ alone, in his righteousness, not in our own. But we are called—by the God who loves us enough to die for us and live for us—to carry a cross, repent of sin, and follow him. Christians know that crosses are not curses, not for the believer.

Crosses are not curses, not for the believer.

And Christ puts the lonely in families (Ps. 68:6)—and he calls us to live in a new family of choice: God’s family.

So we evangelize the LGBTQ family by living differently than others, by living without selfishness or guile. We tell each other the promise found in Mark 10:28–30—the hundredfold promise—and we bear out its truth in our homes:

Peter began to say to Jesus, “See, we have left everything and followed you.”

Jesus replied, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.”

Receive a hundredfold.

About the Author: Rosaria Butterfield is a former tenured professor of English at Syracuse University and author of The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert (Crown & Covenant, 2012) and Openness Unhindered: Further Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert on Sexual Identity and Union with Christ (Crown & Covenant, 2015). Her new book is The Gospel Comes with a House Key (Crossway, 2018).

Burn Your Boats: A Warning About FOMO

Article by Aimee Joseph

Columba was a sixth-century abbot who left his native Ireland with 12 men to bring the good news to the Picts, a pagan people in Scotland. The missionaries founded an abbey on Iona, which would become a vibrant center of literacy and faith for centuries to come.

But shortly after reaching Scotland in an animal-hide-wrapped wicker boat, Columba did something drastic. He knew he and his companions might be tempted to leave when life became uncomfortable or dangerous. And so, the story goes, Columba burned the boat.

After reading about this single-minded commitment, I’ve began noticing how, by contrast, I like to keep my options open, just in case.

One of the hallmarks of my generation is an aversion to commitment. We suffer perpetual FOMO (fear of missing out) and, more seriously, struggle to commit to a marriage or a career. In a world full of potential paths, we have a hard time picking one and remaining on it.

Let Me First Bury My Dad

But while the fear of commitment is trendy, it’s nothing new. Jesus himself engaged would-be disciples with similar struggles:

He said, “Follow me.” But [the man] said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” . . . Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” (Luke 9:59, 61).

While these requests may sound understandable, it’s helpful to know that the first man’s father may not have been dead—or even close to dead. In the culture of the day, “Let me bury my father” was often used in an idiomatic way to express, “Let me get my family and personal life in order.” Put in 21st-century terms, it might sound something like, “I’m interested in following Jesus more seriously, but first I want to find a spouse and get some traction in my career.”

One of the most common phrases I hear from would-be disciples on college campuses carries a hint of that first-century hesitation: “When I have children of my own, I’ll make Christianity a bigger part of my life.”

When called to Christ, we sometimes want to hedge our bets, to buy ourselves a little more time. But such responses—even when expressed warmly and kindly—reveal a heart not captured by the wonder that the God of the universe is personally inviting us to himself.

Don’t Look Back

Both men in Luke 9 have a desire to follow but a reluctance to commit. Jesus’s respective responses bear particular poignancy in our FOMO culture:

Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God. (Luke 9:60)

No one who puts his hands to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God. (Luke 9:62)

Jesus didn’t mince words, nor did he lessen the cost of discipleship. He didn’t lower the bar or paint a rosy picture of a life spent following and proclaiming him. He didn’t alter the truth to expand his audience or make a hard pill more palatable to swallow.

Jesus was in the business of full disclosure. But he also knew the sweetness and rewards of a life centered on him would far exceed the inconvenience and discomfort.

In essence, when we decide to follow Jesus, we must burn—and keep burning!—the boat. Tensions and temptations will meet us on this path. We’ll be tempted to look back, and turn back, to an easier way of life. But from the outset, Jesus summons us to commit to him.

Burn the Boats

Columba and his crew had to burn the vessels that might have tempted them to escape back to the familiarity of kin and country. Likewise, each new disciple of Christ has a boat (or fleet of boats) that might lead back to a life more lucrative, more culturally celebrated, or simply more comfortable.

For some, a former relationship that trumped Christ is the boat that beckons backward. For others, the approval of unbelieving family continually whispers, Don’t be a religious fanatic. Loosen your grip on Christ, just a bit. Often in our money-minded culture, the boats that demand burning would drift us back to a more padded retirement fund or some financial frivolity.

Whatever their shape or style, any boats that lead us away from following Christ must be burned as often as they’re built. While this sounds overwhelming and almost impossible, remember that the One who asks for a commitment to himself, his Word, and his ways has also fully committed himself to us.

Committed to Us

Before we were born, before time was wound, the Son of God was committed. He knew he would leave it all so we could have it all in him. Even now, he gives us his Spirit to work within us, coaching, convicting, and comforting.

When we have Christ, we have not missed out on anything. We have gained everything.

By his grace and his power, may we burn the boats that might take us back to a comfortable and cross-less life. May we fix our eyes on him who has gone before us (Heb. 12:1–2). And may we find courage in his constant commitment to us: “Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt. 28:20).

Related:

• Why Christmas Is the Antidote to FOMO (Sam Allberry)

Aimee Joseph works alongside her husband, G’Joe, who directs Campus Outreach San Diego. They love watching college students brought from lost to leaders through Christ in the church for the world. Parenting three little boys keeps her busy; writing on her blogand studying the Word keep her sane. She has a passion to see women trained to love God and his Word.

Posted at: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/burn-boats-warning-fomo/

The Good Gift of Relational Conflict

Paula Marsteller 

Relational conflict has dogged me recently, in spite of the fact that I’d naturally rather offer up a limb than experience—or inadvertently cause—conflict.

When someone accused me of sin, I prayed, “Lord, don’t let me flatter myself in my own eyes that my iniquity cannot be found out and hated” (Ps. 36:2). I know I’m stained with sin, but I couldn’t see my specific sin in this particular situation.

But then, through Romans 5:3–4, God called me to get off my knees, climb out of the weeds, and look at the bigger picture:

We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope.

Perseverance

Hadn’t I just bemoaned to a friend that I had no perseverance? I realized this after a difficult week with my husband. He was depressed, and I took it all personally and acted desperately. My friend’s response was enlightening: “Don’t beat yourself up. You’ve only been married two-and-a-half years. You haven’t had enough hardships to grow that perseverance in you.”

Oh, right. Perseverance is produced through suffering.

Do you want the peace and fortitude you see that woman exhibiting in the midst of chemo? Do you long to withstand raging winds like that flexible palm tree? The only way to grow this kind of perseverance is through accepting the suffering God sends your way. How thankful I am for John Calvin pointing me back to God’s providence:

The Lord has willed it; therefore it must be borne, not only because one may not contend against it, but also because he wills nothing but what is just and expedient. To sum this up: when we are unjustly wounded by men, let us overlook their wickedness (which would but worsen our pain and sharpen our minds to revenge), remember to mount up to God, and learn to believe for certain that whatever our enemy has wickedly committed against us was permitted and sent by God’s just dispensation.

Character

Relational conflict produces perseverance, and perseverance produces character. Not just any character, but the character and image of Christ. I love how Joni Eareckson Tada and Steve Estes paint this picture in their book When God Weeps:

An artist in Florence, Italy once asked the great Renaissance sculptor Michelangelo what he saw when he approached a huge block of marble. “I see a beautiful form trapped inside,” he replied, “and it is simply my responsibility to take my mallet and chisel and chip away until the figure is set free.”

The beautiful form, the visible expression of “Christ in you, the hope of glory” is inside Christians like a possibility, a potential. The idea is there, and God uses affliction like a hammer and chisel, chipping and cutting to reveal his image in you. God chooses as his model his Son, Jesus Christ, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son” (Rom. 8:29). Suffering fashions us into a “holy and blameless” image of Christ (Eph. 1:4), much like a figure sculpted out of marble.

Hope

Relational conflict also produces hope in us. The word Paul uses here isn’t the “hold your breath, make a wish, cross your fingers” kind. It’s, as John Piper says, “the full assurance and confidence of good things to come.”

How does relational conflict contribute to our full assurance of good things to come? As we cry out to God to help us love those who have hurt us, it gives us assurance that our faith is real. While it is obvious to us that we cannot produce love for that person who has wronged us, we see the Spirit of Christ at work in us, prompting and empowering us not to defend ourselves but to pray for that person who has wronged us, to love the unlovely.

This is hope to hang your hat on—a hope far greater than “hoping” everyone will think you’re pretty great or “hoping” you won’t experience any more relational conflict this month.

God

While I was reminded that this relational conflict would produce perseverance, character, and hope, that didn’t contain my anger for long. I had searched for my sin in this conflict, but I had come up empty-handed. The accused “offender” (me) was really the offended.

I wanted my name cleared, until I saw that God offered me even more than perseverance, character, and hope. Joni Tada and Steve Estes put it this way:

When your heart is being wrung out like a sponge, an orderly list of “sixteen good biblical reasons as to why this is happening” can sting like salt in a wound. . . .

Purified faith is never an end in itself; it culminates in God. Stronger character is character made muscular not for its sake, but God’s. A livelier hope is more spirited because of its focus on the Lord. To forget this is to tarnish faith, weaken character, and deflate hope.

“If you have these qualities existing and growing in you then it means that knowing our Lord Jesus Christ has not made your lives either complacent or unproductive” (2 Peter 1:8PHILLIPS).

“Knowing our Lord Jesus Christ” is keeping your eye on the Sculptor—not on the suffering, or even suffering’s benefits.

Amen. May your relational conflict and mine be used of God to produce perseverance, character, and hope. But more than that, may He use these conflicts to draw us back to Himself, our great and only Good.

Article posted at: https://www.reviveourhearts.com/true-woman/blog/good-gift-relational-conflict/

Good News for Husbands

Article by Ryan Higginbottom

God does not make demands without supplying grace.

In our last article, we studied Paul’s exhortation in Ephesians 5 that husbands must “love their wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This is a serious, heavy responsibility, focused on the wife’s spiritual growth (v. 27).

But in the midst of this command, we read that it is Christ’s mission to “present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing.” As a husband who falls far short of this mandate to love, I need this encouragement. Though I may fail to give myself up for my wife’s sanctification, I can be sure that Jesus gave himself up for mine!

As Christ Loves the Church

We have, however, only explored half of Paul’s instruction for husbands. First, Paul tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (v. 25). Then, he says husbands must also love their wives as Christ loves the church.

The key section of the passage is Ephesians 5:28–30:

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his body.

To apply this passage, we must consider two distinct but related questions: How do humans love their own bodies? And, How does Christ love the church?

As Your Own Body

Fortunately, we need not consider all possible ways a man cares for his body, for Paul speaks of nourishing and cherishing in verse 29.

Paul uses the word for “nourishes” later in the context of raising children to maturity (Ephesians 6:4). And the word for “cherishes” is translated as “tenderly cares” in 1 Thessalonians 2:7, where Paul describes his gentleness among the people.

So, how does a man care for his body? He nourishes his body by feeding and providing for it, through exercise, sleep, and nutrition. He strengthens and equips it. He cherishes his body by cleaning it, protecting it, and giving attention to any wounds or weaknesses.

Not all of these descriptions translate to the marriage relationship, but some do.

Just As Christ Does the Church

Christians often hear what Jesus has done for his people in history—and rightly so! His birth, life, obedience, suffering, death, resurrection, and ascension are glorious and essential.

But we don’t often recall the ways that Jesus cares for his church today. This is what Paul points to in Ephesians 5:29 when he uses the present tense, and we are to use this example, in part, to learn obedience as husbands.

Paul has not left us in the dark about Christ’s present care for the church. Consider what he has already written in Ephesians:

1. In Christ, we have been sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is a pledge of our inheritance (1:13–14). Jesus gives us his promise and points to the glorious future we will share with him.

2. God has put all things in subjection under Jesus’ feet, who has been given as head over all things to the church (1:20–23). Jesus is the supreme ruler, governing all things for the good of his body.

3. We have been brought near by the blood of Christ. Jesus has broken down the wall that divided Israelites from Gentiles. These are written in the past tense, but here is the present truth: Jesus is our peace. The reality of the ascended Jesus means we currently have peace with God; we are not excluded (2:11–16).

4. Because of Jesus, we have present-day access to God (2:18).

5. We are God’s household, growing into a holy temple in the Lord, a dwelling of God in the Spirit (2:19–22).

6. Paul prays that Christ would dwell in the Ephesians’ hearts by faith, so that they “may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that [they] may be filled up to all the fullness of God” (3:18–19). Christ’s presence gives a supernatural knowledge of his immense love, which fills us up to the fullness of God.

7. Christ has given gifts to the church (apostles, prophets, etc.) to equip the saints for the work of service. Since these gifts include pastors and teachers, this is a present-day work of Jesus, helping us grow in unity, knowledge, maturity, and love (4:11–16).

There are other ways that Jesus loves his church — in particular, he prays and advocates for us (Romans 8:34; Hebrews 7:25; 1 John 2:1). Isn’t his love for us lavish? Overflowing? Tender and generous?

So should a husband’s love be for his wife.

What Tender Love Looks Like

From these descriptions, we can make some practical conclusions about the ways a husband should love his wife.

Each husband must nourish and cherish his wife; this has physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. Because each marriage is unique, instead of giving universal suggestions I have provided a list of questions for husbands to consider.

• Are you tending to your wife’s health? Do you pray for her physical, emotional, and spiritual vitality? As much as it depends on you, are you working to provide for her in these areas? Do you talk with her about them?
• In areas of weakness for your wife, are you tender? Does she have confidence that you are for her, protecting and covering and nurturing her, eager for her growth and flourishing?
• Do you know the best ways to pray for her? Do you pray regularly and fervently for her?
• Do you value her? Does she know how much you value her? Do you celebrate the woman she is and the woman she is becoming?
• Do you give her gifts that let her know you love her? Do you make arrangements to share special times and make memories together?

Good News for Husbands

I love the way Paul injects hope into his commands. There is difficult work here for husbands, but there is so much good news too.

Remember—Jesus nourishes and cherishes the church. He does this not simply out of obligation or command, but because we are members of his body. In the same way that a man and woman become one flesh in marriage, so it is with Christ and the church.

Out of the overflow of infinite love, God the Father sent his Son to rescue his people. Because of the work of the Son in history, we are now joined to him—in love—forever.

Husbands, love your wives. Nourish and cherish her as your own body. Do so knowing that, as part of the church, Christ loves you with a tender, unbreakable, unending love. And in that love and strength you will be able to love your wife.

Ryan Higginbottom teaches mathematics at Washington & Jefferson College. He lives with his wife and two daughters in southwest Pennsylvania where they are members of Washington Presbyterian Church. You can connect with Ryan at his blog or on Twitter.

Article posted at: https://unlockingthebible.org/2018/07/good-news-husbands/

Complementarians Should Be Toughest on Abuse

Article by Rebecca McLaughlin

“The great thing about Rebecca,” said my female, non-Christian friend on first meeting my boyfriend, “is that you can treat her like junk and she will always love you and always forgive you.”

If there is a type of woman who would hide domestic abuse, year after year, I conform. Had I married an abusive man, I would likely have done so. Thank God I did not. My then-boyfriend, now-husband channels his strength to protect me and our kids. But was I more at risk because I married a Christian man, and because after much wrestling I have come to complementarian beliefs about marriage?

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:22–23). Tragically, these holy words have been misused to justify horrible abuse. But using complementarian theology to justify abuse is like defacing a “Do Not Enter” sign until it says, “Enter.” Consider five reasons why complementarians, of all people, should have the least tolerance for spousal abuse.

1. God calls husbands to sacrificial love.

Some summarize complementarian theology as “husbands lead, wives submit,” but this is not what the Bible says. God calls wives to submit(Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1). But the primary command to husbands is not lead. It is love (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33; Colossians 3:19). To be sure, the explanation for why wives should submit to their husbands implies that husbands should lead (Ephesians 5:23). But lest we should misunderstand what leading means (as we are wont to do), Paul calls husbands to self-denying, Christlike, sacrificial love: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

How did Christ love the church? He loved to the point of rejection, beatings, nakedness, and death. Were this command given to wives, we might more easily imagine it justifying spousal abuse. But it is not. “Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies,” Paul continues. “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:28–29). The command in Colossians comes with a prohibition: “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19). It would take an exegetical gymnast to interpret Paul’s vision of marriage as an excuse for spousal abuse.

2. Strength is for honoring, not control.

From a biblical perspective, the relative physical strength of men is not a tool for power play, but a motivation for empathy and honor. “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Fail to honor your wife, Peter warns, and your relationship with God will be hindered.

3. Spousal abuse is a gospel-denying sin.

When a woman bravely acknowledges abuse, complementarian theology should drive her pastor (and other men in the church as well) to confront her husband with his sin. Not only is he sinning in the general sense of harming a neighbor. The abusive husband is committing the gospel-denying sin of disgracing his cross-shaped role of sacrificial love. Marriage to his victim does not excuse the sin. It compounds it.

God calls Christian men in general, and pastors specifically, to protect the vulnerable. This means taking sacrificial action to see that an abused wife, and her children, are cared for and made safe; that civil law-breaking is not covered up but reported to civil authorities; and that an abusive husband shows radical repentance and commits to ongoing accountability.

In some situations, we will need to provide a wife and children with alternative housing and support while we handle the husband (who also may be excluded from fellowship in line with the biblical teaching on church discipline, 1 Corinthians 5:9–13). We must not be naïve: abusers frequently say sorry and then continue in their patterns. Sin patterns are hard to break, and we do not want to enable them.

4. Jesus teaches vulnerability and protection.

Due to its distortions and misuses, some believe complementarian theology must be abandoned to keep women safe. But imagine Paul and Peter had said nothing about wives. An unthoughtful pastor might use Jesus’s own words to justify sending a woman back into a dangerous situation. “Do not resist the one who is evil,” says our Lord. “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:39). In Christ, we all enter the world with a posture of vulnerability. This is Christian Ethics 101. But on page after page of the Scriptures, God calls his people to protect the oppressed — particularly women and children.

This ethic emerges from God’s own character. As Psalm 146 proclaims, the Lord “executes justice for the oppressed,” “sets the prisoners free,” “lifts up those who are bowed down,” and “upholds the widow and the fatherless” (Psalm 146:7–9). God is “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows” (Psalm 68:5). He commands his people both to rescue the oppressed and to resist the oppressor (Jeremiah 22:3).

Jesus consistently modeled and reemphasized this. He came “to set at liberty those who are oppressed” (Luke 4:18) and his relationships with women lifted them up in extraordinary ways. Jesus shamed Simon the Pharisee with the moral example of the “sinful” woman, who outstripped him in every measure of love (Luke 7:36–50). Jesus affirmed Mary as she sat at his feet with the male disciples (Luke 10:38–42). He rescued the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1–11) and spoke against divorce to protect women from abandonment (Matthew 19:3–9). If our churches abandon women to abuse, we are stopping our ears to the Scriptures.

5. You’re twice as safe with a Christian man.

We all know of instances where Christians have failed — individually and corporately — to protect women from abusive men. But philosopher Christian Miller cites evidence that church attendance is correlated with much lower levels of domestic abuse.

Indeed, men who do not attend church have been found to be 49% more likely to be abusive at home than men who attend once a week or more (The Character Gap, 235). But that differential is not enough.

Christian husbands who are striving to love your wives as Christ loved the church, we appreciate you — and we need you. We need you to show your sons what it means to man up and love. We need you to be your brothers’ keeper. We need you not to assume that there are no abusive men in your church, your small group, or your family. We all are capable of egregious sin, and without support and accountability, that can manifest itself in ugly ways.

No woman wants to acknowledge spousal abuse. Many will suffer in silence, while their husbands maintain a godly pretense. We need you to work with your wives and sisters in Christ to ensure that no one in your sphere is issuing scars or hiding them. We need you to be like Christ to your wives, and to be like Christ in your church, speaking up with courage, standing up for women, and hating abuse in all its forms. Twice as safe is not enough — let’s make women a hundred times safer with Christian men.

Showcase the Gospel

Christianity in general, and complementarian theology in particular, is no more an excuse for spousal abuse than a doctor’s license is an excuse for murder. Complementarian marriage rests on the bedrock of Christ’s love for his church — a love that took him to the cross. It is a covenant commitment between a man and a woman designed to mirror — however imperfectly — Christ’s sacrificial love for his church and our joyful submission to him.

Christian men who abuse their wives are committing egregious, gospel-denying sin. Let’s stand together in Christ to oppose them, not because we don’t believe the Bible’s challenging words about marriage, but because we do. The biblical sign says, “Do Not Enter.” Let’s keep the door firmly shut.

Rebecca McLaughlin (@beginwithwords) holds a Ph.D. from Cambridge University and a theology degree from Oak Hill Seminary. Formerly Vice President of content at The Veritas Forum, Rebecca is now co-founder of Vocable Communications. She is the author of the forthcoming book, Confronting Christianity: 12 Hard Questions for the World’s Largest Worldview (Crossway, 2019). You can read more of her writing at her website.

4 Marks of a Godly Husband's Love

Article by Tim Challies

“Husbands, love your wives” (Ephesians 5:25a). On the one hand it is such a simple statement, a simple command. Simply love. On the other hand there is not a husband in the world who would say that he has mastered it. Behind the simple command is a lifetime of effort, a lifetime of growth. How is a husband to love his wife? What is the kind of love that he owes her? I am tracking here with Richard Phillips as he explains in his new commentary on Ephesians.

A self-sacrificing love. A husband’s love is self-sacrificing. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Every husband knows that he is called to love his wife to such a degree that he would willing to die for her. But God calls for far more than this. “It is easy for men to think of dying dramatically—and bloodily—for our wives in some grand gesture. But what Paul specifically has in mind is for husbands to live sacrificially for their wives. This means a dying to self-interest to place her needs before your own. It means a willingness to crucify your sins and selfish habits and unworthy character traits. I remember a husband who told me he had always thought that if a man came into the house with a knife to attack his wife, sure, he would be willing to die defending her. ‘Then I realized,’ he said, ‘that emotionally and spiritually, I am that man who assaults my wife and threatens her well-being. What God calls me to do is put my own sinful self to death’.” Exactly so. You would die for your wife, but will you live for her?

A redeeming love. A husband’s love is, like Christ’s love, redeeming. Christ “gave himself up for [the church], that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” “If we follow this progression we see the Christian gospel in terms of Christ’s preparation of a bride for himself.” Christ is actively sanctifying his people through the word to cleanse us from sin and make us holy. Paul now says that a husband is to see this as his model for the way he relates to his bride. “As Christ’s love redeems us for glory, a husband’s love ought to be directed toward the spiritual growth of his wife. Notice, too, that this ministry is associated with a husband’s words. The Greek word used here is thema, which signifies actual words, rather than the more common logos which speaks of a message in general. This makes the point of how important a husband’s words are to his wife. Far from badgering or tearing down his wife with his speech, loving husbands are to remind their wives of God’s love and minister for their blessing and increased spiritual maturity.”

A caring love. A husband’s love is also a caring love. “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” A man’s care for his wife should be as careful and intimate as his care for his own body. Paul offers two key words to describe this: nourish and cherish. A husband cares for his wife by nourishing her heart much like a gardener nourishes his plants. “This requires him to pay attention to her, to talk with her in order to know what her hopes and fears are, what dreams she has for the future, where she feels vulnerable or ugly, and what makes her anxious or gives her joy.” A husband cherishes his wife “in the way he spends time with her and speaks about her, so that she feels safe and loved in his presence.” Phillips offers this warning: “In my experience, a husband’s caring love is one of the greatest needs in most marriages. [A] wife’s heart is dried up by a husband who pays her little attention, takes no interest in her emotional life, and does not connect with her heart.”

A committed love. Finally, a husband’s love is a committed love. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” In the same way that Christ is utterly faithful to his church, a husband is to be completely faithful to his wife. This is signified in the one flesh union which is “the sharing of a whole life in the safe bounds of committed love.” One great barrier to this kind of love is when a husband does not transfer his allegiance from his parents to his wife, thus not fully leaving his father and mother. “A husband who shares marital secrets with his parents or who cannot break free from his family’s control is not able to offer his wife the devotion she needs.” Another great barrier is sexual sin. “Marriage involves forsaking all others in favor of an exclusive, intimate, and indivisible bond. … In Paul’s pagan world, as in our own, marriage was undermined by insecurity, as men and women exchanged partners the way they changed clothes. But a Christian husband offers his wife the security of a committed love, in which she can blossom emotionally and spiritually.” A husband commits to his wife to the exclusion of all others.

In all of these ways a Christian marriage is a portrait of Christ’s union with his church. “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” When we see this intimate connection between marriage and the gospel, we understand that “There is nothing more profound in all this world than the sacred bond of marriage, and no more solemn duty than those owed by a wife to her husband and a husband to his wife.” So husband, do you love your wife? In what ways do you need to love her better, to love her just like Christ loves his church?

Article originally posted at:  https://www.challies.com/articles/4-marks-of-a-godly-husband%E2%80%99s-love/

Time to Stop Praying and Reading, and Start Doing

Article by Rick Thomas

It is easier to talk theology than to live it. It’s easier to talk about your problems than to do something about them. Sometimes it’s wise to put the Bible down, get up from praying and start living what you know.

“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves” (James 1:22).

Mandy has been in a Bible study for eleven consecutive years. She loves her Bible study. It is the third Tuesday of each month from 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. Mandy shows up at 7:00 sharp and promptly leaves at the last “amen.” Mandy also has a dysfunctional marriage, fifteen years running.

Mark reads his Bible from cover to cover every year. Bible reading has been his passion and conviction for the past nine years. He also rarely misses his morning prayer time. Mark is married to Mandy.

As a couple, they are hitting all the Christian marks. They attend their local church meeting every Sunday, nearly without exception. They are involved in their gender groups. They are consistent in the spiritual disciplines, but their marriage has gone from rocky to rockier.

There is something wrong with their Christian game plan. It is not working. Mark and Mandy are learning but not transforming. They talk at length about their latest study or how thankful they are to be part of a local body that provides so much, but the divide between them continues to grow.

The Best Defense Is a Good Offense

“So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (James 4:17).

After asking a few insightful questions to Mandy, it became apparent that one of the reasons she liked her structured Bible study was because it allowed her to show up, sit down, soak in, and quickly leave as soon as it ended. The structure of the Bible study did not challenge her by asking questions that probed the real condition of her life and marriage. It was mostly a sit and soak session that required little from her. She liked it that way.

Her biggest challenge was navigating the spontaneity of the break time without being engaged about the personal things in her life or marriage. Attending Bible study was her way of being in control while tacitly participating in Christianity but not being exposed or challenged. She had a false intimacy with God and her friends.

Mark accomplished similar things, though he went about it another way. Mandy would be private in a group setting, while Mark did his devotions in a private setting. Their best defense was being on the spiritual-discipline-offensive. They were hiding in plain sight.

Their stellar attendance and consistent disciplines moved them to the head of the class, but their lives were not transforming. Their marriage is inching toward increasing dysfunction, and now that their children are in the early teen years, it is affecting the whole family.

The tenor of the home has the feel of smoldering anger. Everyone “gets along” though everyone knows it’s a fake perseverance at best. Mark and Mandy figured out how to coexist in the Christian world while maintaining ongoing displeasure with each other.

This fictional story is not fictional with untold millions of professing Christians. They are involved in all the right Christian things, but Christianity is not intruding their lives in such a way that is transformational.

In most cases like this, no one ever learns the real story, not until something blows up in the marriage or with the children. When this happens, someone calls the Christian medics while the onlookers are scratching their heads, wondering how this could happen to such a stellar couple.

Discipleship Hindrances

“Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12b).

There could be many reasons for what is wrong with Mark and Mandy. Their story is certainly not an anomaly. I have counseled many couples like this and have discovered a few common denominators. Here are two of them.

No Transparency – The most obvious hindrance is they did not want to be exposed. Being transparent may be one of the hardest things for a Christian to do. Sometimes a lack of transparency is born out of a fear of being hurt or slandered.

Though it is a legitimate fear, it is one that denies the power of the gospel. The fearful person who resists transparency has not appropriately dealt with this question: Is God’s opinion of you more controlling than any other person’s opinion of you?

If God’s opinion has more control over you, then you will be less likely to hide, even with the possibility of being hurt by others. That is the power of the gospel working in a person’s heart.

Another reason for a lack of transparency is because the person is hiding some sin. Sinful living can only thrive in inhabited darkness. Nobody can serve two masters; one will have dominion over the other (Matthew 6:24). When you couple hidden sin with a fear of being exposed, you can guarantee the person will not come clean or find help. Christian disciplines will not help this kind of person, though it can provide a cover for him to operate.

Discipleship can only happen when a person is willing to be completely honest about his life. This kind of discipleship occurs in the contexts of honesty and transparency. Without these two things, a Christian is not growing but going through the motions.

Ignorance – It is possible that Mark and Mandy do not know how to disciple each other. You may be surprised to know the most common answer I hear when I ask a husband how he disciples his wife is, “I don’t know how to do that.”

If they give an answer at all, it is usually along the lines of doing devotions, praying together, or going through a book. While those things could supplement any relationship, they should not be the centerpiece of a relationship.

When books, devotions, and prayer time supplant redemptive communication, the community will deteriorate. It is rare for me to counsel a couple who has not read more than one book on marriage.

It is also rare for me to counsel someone who does not have a working knowledge of the Bible. Books, Bibles, and prayer are almost always part of what a couple has tried to rejuvenate their marriage, only to be disappointed because those things did not work. If I were to counsel Mark and Mandy, I would hyperbolically tell them something along these lines:

I want you both to stop reading your Bible, stop reading all those books, stop praying, stop doing your devotions, and start talking to each other. It’s radical, I know. You both know enough about the Bible to choke a Pharisee. You do not need more Bible knowledge, and your prayers are being hindered and rendered ineffective by God (1 Peter 3:7) because you are missing out on one of the most common-sense things you can do: talk to each other.

Knowledge Plus Application

“For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil” (Hebrews 5:12–14).

Mark and Mandy need to learn how to communicate with each other. They both are unique people, made by God, shaped by sinful means, and in need of someone coming alongside them to unpack them according to how sin has developed them and how God wants them to be.

For example, Mark needs to set aside all his Bible reading and praying and start exegeting another kind of book—his wife. He does not have a knowledge problem; he has an application problem. He could spend the next forty years reading his Bible and praying every day and still end up in divorce court. His Bible reading and prayer life will not help him until he gets in front of his wife and they begin talking honestly and openly.

One of the reasons churches offer so many Bible studies is because it is easier to tell someone what to do through a study than it is to get into the trenches of their lives where the sin is real, feisty, nasty, and complicated. Mark and Mandy need confronting, not more information about what the Bible teaches. They need some friends who can discern their lives and are willing to cut through the nonsense and help them.

Bible studies and prayer vigils will not do this. Those things are essential, but they are passive ways for sanctification to happen. They are part of how to mature in Christ, but if they are the only parts, Mark and Mandy will not grow in Christ. They will become smarter but not more sanctified.

I’m not dissing studying the Bible or praying. I am saying if you know the Word but are not practically engaging your relationships with the Word, you’re dishonoring God and hating your relationships. People can spend a lot of time praying and studying while their families spiral in dysfunction.

I make a living counseling biblically educated Christians. There is something wrong with that statement. It should not be that way. Christian transformation is knowledge plus application, not just knowledge alone.

How to Apply

If you are a person who is not maturing in Christ or if you are in a relationship that is not growing in Christ, here are two things for you to consider.

Are You Transparent?

Without making excuses for why you are not transparent, the question is, are you transparent? If you are not, you will not mature in Christ. The gospel has the power to transform you, but it will be impotent in your life if you are not willing to engage it the right way.

Part of the right way is for you to be engaged by the gospel in the context of community. If you are not willing to be transparent in your community or if you do not have a community that can know you the way you need to be known, you will hinder your growth in Christ.

Are You Hiding Something?

Counseling can be a lying profession. People lie to me all the time. I do not personally struggle with this, though I do sometimes wonder why someone would want to meet with me to talk about personal or marital problems and choose to lie.

If you want to change, you must be honest about what is going on in your life. You cannot reveal half the cards in your deck and expect anyone to speak intelligently into what you need to change. Transformation does not work that way.

Call to Action

If you are willing to be fully transparent and put all of your cards on the table, you are in the best place to change and grow, whether personally or within a relationship (providing the other person embraces your vision and expectation for transformation).

Two individuals who are open and honest with each other can spur one another on in their sanctification (Hebrews 10:25).

Discipleship happens this way. And from that excellent starting point, it is a matter of ongoing communication.

Let’s say my fictional characters, Mark and Mandy, are being practically animated by the gospel. They have nothing to hide and nothing to fear. They are for each other and want to be a means of grace in each other’s lives. If that is where they are, here are some excellent questions that will radicalize their lives and marriage.

You’re welcome to put your Bible down, walk out of your prayer closet, and engage your closest relationships with these questions too. Pick one and start talking:

1. What is God doing in your life? How are you succeeding, and how are you struggling?
2. What are some things I am doing that are helping you mature in Christ? How do I hinder you in your walk with the Lord?
3. What are some of your fears? What do those fears tempt you to do?
4. What is an ongoing struggle you have in your life? When did it begin? What have you been doing about it? How can I help you?
5. What is something you would like to control, but you cannot control, and you struggle with it?
6. In your opinion, how does God see you? I am not asking for a biblical answer but your answer.
7. In your opinion, how do others see you? Are there certain people with whom you struggle? Why do you struggle? What do you think the Lord wants to teach you? How can I help you with this?
8. What regrets do you have? What about guilt or shame related things?
9. What hinders our relationship, and how could I change to make it better?
10. What is something that I am not asking, but you think it would be helpful for me to ask?

Now close this blog and become a practical, active doer of God’s Word.

Article originally posted at:  https://rickthomas.net/stop-praying-stop-reading-your-bible-start-discipling/

Bitter Root, Rotten Fruit

by Paul Tautges

Hebrews 12:15-17 warns,

See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. For you know that even afterwards, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought for it with tears.

Let’s take a few minutes to counsel one another about the corruption of bitterness and what steps we can take to kill this nasty weed.

What is bitterness and what does it do?

• Bitterness [harsh, distasteful attitude) springs from a shortage of grace (“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God”). When I am bitter against someone for sinning against me–intentionally or unintentionally–then I am not functioning as a grace-dispensing believer.
• Bitterness is a “root” attitude of heart. Roots grow downward, getting deeper and more deeply embedded and entangled. If my shortage of grace is prolonged then my heart will become increasingly hardened toward others.
• Bitterness has fruit that grows upward and outward, touching others (“springing up”). When I am bitter it is impossible for me to be the only one infected. Others around me will also be poisoned.
• Bitterness “causes trouble.” When I have nurtured the root of bitterness in my heart its rotten fruit will cause further harm, and lead to further sin. It is an entangling sin.
• Bitterness, if not repented of, can harden the heart to the point of no return (“Esau…found no place for repentance”). A sober warning!

Weed-killer for Bitterness

• Forgive from your heart those who have hurt you (Matthew 18:35).
• Bless those who have hurt you; overcome evil with good (Romans 12:19-21).
• Actively choose not to remember sins committed against you. Actively choosing not to remember is different than forgetting. In Jeremiah 31:34, God says he will “remember no more” the sins of his people. This is not memory failure, or forgetfulness. This is God’s conscious choice to no longer hold our sins against us. We must do the same with the sins of others.
• Destroy “lists of sins” committed against you, mental lists or actual, written lists (1 Cor. 13:5).
• Make peace with others, as much as is in your power (Rom. 12:18)

Listen to the sermon by Paul Tautges:  Listen to the related audio sermon here.