Humility is Not Hating Yourself

We often think of humility as a rather dreary virtue. We know we need it, but we don’t expect it to be much fun. Kind of like going to the dentist.

C.S. Lewis argued the opposite: “to even get near [humility], even for a moment, is like a drink of cold water to a man in a desert.” Tim Keller preached something similar: “There’s nothing more relaxing than humility.” As he explained, pride grumbles at everything, but humility can joyfully receive life as a gift.

So perhaps we get it backwards: we think humility is an impossible burden, but in reality it is as light as a feather. It is pride that makes life gray and drab; humility brings out the color. Why do we get this wrong? I don’t know, but part of the answer might be we simply misunderstand what humility is. Here are two ways we do so, in particular.

1. Humility Isn’t Hiding

Humility is not hiding your talents and abilities. If you can paint like Van Gogh, humility does not require you to keep your work under a veil in the basement closet. If you can pitch a 95-mile-per-hour fastball, humility will not encourage you to sit on the bench and never tell the coach.

In The Screwtape Letters, one devil advises another,

The Enemy wants to bring the man to a state of mind in which he could design the best cathedral in the world, and know it to be the best, and rejoice in the fact, without being any more (or less) or otherwise glad at having done it than he would be if it had been done by another. The Enemy wants him, in the end, to be so free from any bias in his own favor that he can rejoice in his own talents as frankly and gratefully as in his neighbor’s talents — or in a sunrise, an elephant, or a waterfall.

If Lewis is right, then denying your talents is not humble — if anything, it is the opposite, since you are still focused on yourself, biased for or against yourself as an exception to the rest of the human race. Humility means the death of this craving, self-referential framework. It means valuing your contribution to the world alongside every other good thing in the world.

“True humility always produces joy. If we lack joy, we know we’ve got a counterfeit.”TweetShare on Facebook

So, imagine you are part of a team of doctors working to cure a disease. You make a discovery that contributes approximately 25% toward finding the cure. Another doctor then makes a different discovery that contributes the remaining 75% toward finding the cure. Humility means you are pleased with your accomplishment, and able to speak freely about it, while simultaneously and effortlessly three times more pleased with your colleague’s effort.

To be such a person is not a burden, but a joy and freedom.

2. Humility Isn’t Self-Hatred

Humility is not self-hatred, self-neglect, or self-punishment. The Bible never says, “Hate yourself; instead love your neighbor.” It says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Self-hatred is actually sinful, no less than hatred of others (just as suicide is a form of murder).

Musician Andrew Peterson has a song entitled “Be Kind to Yourself.” The notion of self-kindness can be misunderstood, to be sure. It must be distinguished from self-indulgence. But there is a way to take care of yourself, to genuinely have regard for yourself, that is healthy and makes you more useful to others. As I often say in counseling situations, true self-care is not selfish.

Many in our society struggle with a sense of shame, inferiority, and a lack of self-worth. We must sharply distinguish such feelings from the goal of humility. Whatever else humility will require of you, it will never rob you of your dignity as an image-bearer of God. Humble people do not regard their own existence as an evil. They do not regard themselves as corrupting everything they touch, or wasting the space in which they move. They can walk about freely in the world, with a bounce in their step.

Humility’s Acid Test

Okay, if that’s what humility isn’t, what is it? I love how Keller (following Lewis) speaks of humility as self-forgetfulness — it’s not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. Both hiding your talents and hating yourself are forms of self-preoccupation, whereas humility leads us into freedom from thoughts of self altogether.

Lewis helps us once again,

Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call “humble” nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.

“Pride grumbles at everything, but humility can joyfully receive life as a gift.”TweetShare on Facebook

Lewis’s word cheerful strikes me, as well as his emphasis on the enjoyment of life. This reminds me that joy is a good acid test of humility, and our entire spirituality. True humility always produces joy. If we lack joy, we know we’ve got a counterfeit. Something is misfiring.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that humility always will feeluplifting and comfortable. There will be arduous moments. But the net result will be, like exercise or a healthy diet, distinctly pleasant. So, we can think of humility like this: self-forgetfulness leading to joy.

Great Model of Humility

In the Christian gospel, we are given the ultimate picture of humility: Jesus, in his incarnation, and especially in his death and burial. “Being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8). No one ever humbled himself more than Jesus. From heaven to crucifixion is the ultimate descent. Yet even for Jesus, humility was the pathway to joy (Hebrews 12:2) and glory (Philippians 2:9–11).

If we would like to grow in humility, the place to start is here, at the cross. Christ’s humiliation is the death of all ego and swagger. There is no room for pride before the crucified Savior. And his exaltation gives us a greater glory to live for than our own. Heaven is roaring with his praise, and one day every knee will bow before him — what a waste to spend our talents on any lesser cause!

So, humility is not hiding what you can do, or hating who you are. It’s the joy of thinking about yourself less, and about Jesus more.

Gavin Ortlund (@gavinortlund) is a research fellow at the Carl F.H. Henry Center for Theological Understanding at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, Illinois. He writes regularly at Soliloquium.

The Therapeutic Gospel

Article by Steve Cornell

When you hear a pastor or teacher invite people to come to Jesus, listen carefully to the emphasis on what Jesus will do for the person who comes to him.

There is a subtle but dangerous distortion of the gospel that has become popular in many Churches.

A growing number of pastors are inviting people to come to Jesus on terms that are not consistent with our Lord’s own invitations to follow him.

Question: Are we twisting the gospel around the felt needs and expectations of a self-centered culture?

The therapeutic gospel leaves one with the distinct impression that, “Jesus and the church exist to make you feel loved, significant, validated, entertained, and charged up. This gospel ameliorates distressing symptoms. It makes you feel better. The logic of this therapeutic gospel is a jesus-for-Me who meets individual desires and assuages psychic aches” (David Powlison).

Most pressing felt needs?

Dr. Powlison summarizes the felt needs that the therapeutic gospel addresses. 

• I want to feel loved for who I am, to be pitied for what I’ve gone through, to feel intimately understood, to be accepted unconditionally;

• I want to experience a sense of personal significance and meaningfulness, to be successful in my career, to know my life matters, to have an impact;

• I want to gain self-esteem, to affirm that I am okay, to be able to assert my opinions and desires;

• I want to be entertained, to feel pleasure in the endless stream of performances that delight my eyes and tickle my ears;

• I want a sense of adventure, excitement, action, and passion so that I experience life as thrilling and moving. 

“In this new gospel, the great ‘evils’ to be redressed do not call for any fundamental change of direction in the human heart. Instead, the problem lies in my sense of rejection from others; in my corrosive experience of life’s vanity; in my nervous sense of self-condemnation and diffidence; in the imminent threat of boredom if my music is turned off; in my fussy complaints when a long, hard road lies ahead. These are today’s significant felt needs that the gospel is bent to serve.”

These felt needs “are defined just like a medical problem. You feel bad; the therapy makes you feel better. The definition of the disease bypasses the sinful human heart. You are not the agent of your deepest problems, but merely a sufferer and victim of unmet needs. The offer of a cure skips over the sin-bearing Savior. Repentance from unbelief, willfulness, and wickedness is not the issue. Sinners are not called to a U-turn and to a new life that is life indeed. Such a gospel massages self-love. There is nothing in its inner logic to make you love God and love any other person besides yourself. This therapeutic gospel may often mention the word ‘Jesus,’ but he has morphed into the meeter-of-your-needs, not the Savior from your sins. It corrects Jesus’ work. The therapeutic gospel unhinges the gospel.” (David Powlison).

Posted at: https://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/the-therapeutic-gospel/

The Danger of Forgiving Yourself

Article by Rick Thomas

Forgiving yourself is an odd teaching that has crept into the Christian’s understanding of sanctification. It’s the idea of self-forgiveness. “You just need to forgive yourself” is a standard way this secular doctrine is put forth within the Christian community.

Whose Blood is Sufficient?

Typically a person who believes he needs to forgive himself has sinned in some way–hence the need for forgiveness. All sin requires forgiveness to be free from it (Romans 10:13; 1 John 1:7-10). The need for forgiveness is a straight-forward Christian doctrine: I sin; I need forgiveness.

The problem arises when the person seeking forgiveness is not seeking forgiveness from God, or from God alone. He is looking for something more–something in addition to God’s forgiveness; he wants to be self-forgiving. Though he may know God will forgive him of his sins, he also believes self-forgiveness is required.

“Yes, God has forgiven me, but I can’t forgive myself for what I did” is a typical response.

Though this should be a self-evident heresy that distorts the gospel by adding to the forgiveness we receive from God alone, through Christ alone, based on the Bible alone, it is not with many Christians. Unknowingly, these self-forgiving people are adding to the gospel (Galatians 1:8-9). It is like placing the blood of the lamb above the doorpost along with your blood too–a dangerous teaching (Exodus 12:7).

• Christ Forgiving + Self-Forgiving = Heresy
• Christ Forgiving + My Acceptance of His Forgiveness = Gospel

The reason the perfect Lamb of God came to earth was to save us from our sins (John 1:29). Christ’s redemption is a major plank in the gospel platform. Sin separates people from Christ, and if they are going to be redeemed, God in the flesh must do it (Ephesians 2:1-9).

Jesus did come and became a man, lived perfectly, died on the cross, and rose from the grave to not only conquer our sin but to provide a means to free sinner-man from it.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. – Ephesians 1:7

If sinner-man could forgive himself, he would not need a perfect sacrifice. If an imperfect sacrifice would do, who needs Christ? How convenient: I can sin, forgive myself of my sin, and be free from my sin. I can live in a hermetically sealed self-made redemptive world.

The Bible teaches that only Christ can forgive us of our sins because we cannot forgive ourselves from the sins we commit against an infinite, holy, almighty, and sovereign Lord. There is no biblical basis for this.

Lingering Feelings of Conviction

The person who is struggling with self-forgiveness has committed some sin. They have transgressed God’s moral law and are feeling bad about what they did.

This feeling is called conviction from the Spirit of God, which is a good thing. Whenever we sin, there should be an appropriate and accompanying conviction. To feel bad about wrongs committed is a kindness from the Lord.

Imagine being able to sin, but not able to know, discern, or sense it. It would be like slicing your hand open and not feeling the pain. Pain in such an instance is a mercy from the Lord. Spiritual conviction is similar to physical discomfort. It gives us the opportunity to respond to God, receive His forgiveness, and move on in the freedom that the power of the gospel offers (Galatians 5:1).

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:8-9

In some cases with some Christians, they have a difficult time receiving and resting in God’s full forgiveness. They may even ask God to forgive them multiple times, but the lingering residual feeling of conviction remains. This feeling is a false sense of guilt that is not resting in the transformative power of the gospel.

Their lack of gospel trust disables them from fully appropriating the undeserved favor He provides. These unbelieving Christians (Mark 9:24) continue to struggle with ongoing issues like guilt, remorse, shame, and embarrassment.

Their self-imposed guilt may even drive them to isolate from others by hiding the real truth about what is going on. Like their predecessor Adam, they cover themselves with fig leaves.

Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. – Genesis 3:7

Hiding unresolved guilt issues complicates the original sin with other sins they pursue to find relief from the guilt. Rather than running to God, they entangle themselves in a godless orbit of temptations that pushes them into a spiral of self-perpetuating dysfunction.

The Self-Esteem Gospel

The full power of the gospel becomes marginalized in their lives because their view of themselves, God, and His gospel is limited and smallish. This is what connects them to the self-esteem movement, a person who spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about themselves rather than God (Philippians 2:3-5).

• Self-esteem teaches us to think highly of ourselves. Christianity teaches us to think highly of others.
• Self-esteem teaches us to be all you can be. Christianity teaches us to make others great.
• Self-esteem teaches us to be independent. Christianity teaches us to be interdependent.
• Self-esteem teaches us to be competitive. Christianity teaches us to be other-centered.
• Self-esteem teaches us not to be self-critical. Christianity teaches us to own our depravity.

The self-esteem movement is counter-productive to the Christian way of thinking. It leads to more and more introspection and individualism, which has an incarcerating effect on the mind.

Can anyone spend more time thinking about themselves, and feel better about themselves because of their introspective reflections? The gospel frees us from ourselves while motivating us to spend more time focusing on God and others.

The self-forgiver is intuitively self-focused. All he can think about is what he did and how bad he feels about what he did and how God would never forgive such an awful person. Self-esteem makes man and his problems big and God and His power small.

Looking Down on Yourself

The Bible category for self-esteem is self-righteousness.

Let me illustrate: Imagine a person being two people. Let’s say the person is me. In this illustration, I am person A, and I am person B. I am representing both people. Now, let’s say, person A commits adultery and person B, which is also me, is in disbelief over what person A did. In other words, I am shocked at what I did.

Dear God, I can’t believe I did that.

In addition to being shocked, I am embarrassed, angry, frustrated, confused, and ashamed of what I did. My self-esteem gospel tells me to think highly of myself (person B), but my reality tells me that I have a problem (person A). I’m in a tailspin. Why?

Self-esteem says, “I am somebody. I am great. I can do all things.”

Bible says, “I am a sinner, totally depraved, and capable of many other things that are worse than this.”

Only a person with a high view of himself would be shocked at what he did: “It is so bad that I can’t get over it.” No Christian should be surprised or shocked when he sins. Though you are a saint, you also choose to sin on occasion.

We are fallen people, living in a fallen world, and at times we are tempted to yield to the temptation to sin–a sad fact of life. If you regularly imbibe on the counter-productive self-esteem model, you will always be shrinking into a person who finds it hard to accept your sinfulness.

While you continually stroke yourself upward through the maintenance of your high thoughts about yourself, you will also be confronted by the sin you commit. Your mind will be like a roller coaster of bad thoughts (James 1:5-8).

The self-esteem model teaches a person to ignore weaknesses and wrongs. Thus, when the inevitability of our Adamic tendencies come to roost, you will be surprised, shocked, disbelieving, and discouraged.

The Christian’s counter to this worldview is to regularly soak in the Scripture’s view that we are saints who sin. This view will prepare you to deal with the reality of who you are before God and others.

Though you will experience guilt and conviction after you sin, your actions will not throw you into a ditch by your actions. You will be able to fast track to the only one who can fully and freely forgive you.

The Bible does not have a high view of humans. In fact, the Bible has an extremely low view of who we are and what we are capable of doing. Whenever the Bible talks about our propensities outside of the grace of God, its view of man is low–even pronouncing eternal torment on those who reject God. (See Romans 3:10-12; Revelation 20:15)

Needing More Than Christ

Self-esteem (biblically defined as self-righteousness) can only lead to one conclusion: You have to go outside the biblical boundaries for a solution. Thus, the self-esteemer can never be free.

He will live with the ongoing residual effect of guilt and shame because of his unwillingness to embrace a sober assessment of who he  is–a born again sinner. The battles of guilt and shame that reject the gospel’s cure will always motivate other measures like self-forgiveness.

I asked Christ to forgive me, and I believe He did, but I still struggle with what I did, so I just need to forgive myself.

If you have a hard time embracing your sins or accepting the poor view of yourself that your sins affirm, you will have a hard time accepting a gospel cleanse. Christ came for sinners, not people who can’t believe they did such a thing or won’t own the truth about their sinful actions (Luke 5:32).

The Price of Forgiveness

All sin is against God, and only God can forgive sin. Let me illustrate by giving you a truth and an analogy.

Truth: The person sinned against (the Lord) is the one who determines the price to be paid to cover the offense.

Analogy: If you cause a car accident, you are not the one who determines what you are going to pay to make amends for your mistake. The insurance company assesses the damages and lets you know what the cost will be.

This analogy is proximate to how forgiveness works with God. He is always the one who determines what it will take to cover the offense–not you, the offender.

The Lord made that decision a long time ago when He sent His one and only Son to die on the cross for our sins (John 1:29, 3:7, 3:16). You or I do not tell God that we need a greater sacrifice for the sins we commit.

Imagine a friend paying for your meal at a restaurant. Though you appreciate it, you decide to also pay for the meal–in addition to his payment. There is no need for you to pay for something that has already been paid for, and there is no need for you to forgive yourself after God has forgiven you. The real question is, “Can you rest in His forgiveness?”

Call to Action

The gospel came to take care of your sin problems because you could not. Your job should be simple: apply the gospel to your life. You must ask, receive, and apply God’s forgiveness to your life. Then rest in His gospel goodness.

If you are like me, a person who can become overly shocked by personal sin, maybe you need to repent of self-righteousness. Sometimes I forget how Jesus is enough for all my sin. How about you?

1. Are you able to rest in God’s forgiveness?
2. Why do you feel the need to forgive yourself when infinite God gave you an infinite gift to pay for your infinite offense against Him? What can you add to infinity?
3. What is going on in your thinking that hinders you from trusting and resting in the Lord?
4. Will you talk to someone about those things?

Article posted at:  https://www.printfriendly.com/p/g/t7kFKB